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Love on the internet - Is it even possible


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Poll: Love on the internet (35 member(s) have cast votes)

Is true love possible on the internet

  1. Yes (23 votes [65.71%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 65.71%

  2. No (8 votes [22.86%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 22.86%

  3. I don't know (4 votes [11.43%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 11.43%

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#1 ~SBM~

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 12:15 AM

After experiencing the 3dx virtual world I've heard opposing views on this subject, so I thought I'd do a post about it to see what the different view points are. In my 3dx experience I found it very hard to trust anyone and without trust there is no love, but that's just me. Now I know there are many online dating sites and other online adult games where people can meet and begin relationships. This is just a general question but please stick to the topic. My personal opinion is that love knows no boundaries, even on the world wide web. Your soulmate could be anywhere, even possibly oceans and continents away but that's just me. So I want to start a poll and hopefully get some feedback and see what people think. Please no troll posts and please respect the subject matter.

 

 

 

~sirbigmac~

 

 



#2 Anaganda

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 07:16 AM

Personally when I came here at first, I thought that it was a joke... I made fun of anyone who talked about it, and marriage was the biggest joke subject for me..... but things do change as well as people.

While for me it doesn't seem logical at all, falling in love with a person you really didn't see, hear or touch... but we are in a place that tries to simulate these things to Some degree. And with the aid of person's good imagination, the effect of this simulation can multiply by a lot...

 

For me the real question is... when people fall in love in here, are they in love with the avatar or the person behind the computer?


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#3 JustSomeGirl

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:51 AM

"True Love" requires actual physical human interaction and meeting an actual human, not a extremely aesthetically pleasing fake avatar that is most likely not even close to the actual person "behind" the avatar..

 

Its totally ridiculous to think otherwise unless the person has deep emotional and attachment problems.


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#4 Humanity

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:22 AM

oh, that guy again...

 

bda870045b4a162c201250817e6138b0.gif


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#5 LovelyBritney

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:59 AM

From what I read, I don't think he is talking about real love only on 3DX, but online in general. I don't think real love is possible without actually seeing the human being behind the avatar, otherwise you are just falling in love with the pixels, but I know from my own experience that falling in love online is very much possible without meeting in person first.


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#6 RobT

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 02:46 PM

i am of the belief that most arent in love, they are in love with the idea of being in love. looking for something that the current real life doesnt offer. I dont think its impossible but very unlikely in my own opinion.

 

I also get amused by some pixel romances who tell me they are together in real. talking to someone on skype or a call isnt being together in real. being together in real is both of you in the same room in person. at least to me. a skype relationship in my mind is no different then one in game. 

 

not everyone feels the same and thats fine, just my view on it but i am a hard ass so  my view on the subject may be jaded

 

 

*let me just add that the game does not lend itself to relationships, doesnt mean you cant but exclusive relationships seem to be hard to have in the game. I have only had one relationship for that very reason*


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#7 DocQ

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 03:55 PM

Falling in love over the internet is extremely rare, and indeed a very, almost insurmountable task.  I agree with you that say you need to have the physical touch in order to have 100% love, but you also don't just fall in love physically.  Sometimes I think it is easier to figure out  if you love someone without the physical touch, because sometimes just having sex with someone, we think we are in love, but we really aren't, we are just infatuated with the person. The deepest of love is in our souls, our hearts, our thoughts. None of these are accomplished through touch, although it can expand on it. Those of us that have faith in God, is this love we have not accomplished without a physical touch?

 

I am lucky enough to have found my soulmate in this game, that I would not have found otherwise. We have had a relationship inside and outside this game for over a year now. With technology the way that it is, it is very possible to have a relationship.

 

You are correct about trust, without trust, you can not have love. Even if you have trust issues due to your past, you have to be willing to jump in with both feet and throw caution out the door, and yes this is going to get you hurt 99 times out of a hundred, but when you meet that special one, it will all be worth it. When your soul meets this person and you know you are with the exact person that you are supposed to be with, then you will find a way to eventually meet in real life, and begin to have the physical intimacy that you need to take the relationship to the next level. 

 

We all have the deep desire to have our emotions and love be returned in the same way that we give them out. When it is the right person, you will know.


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#8 Naptime

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 04:33 PM

I do not believe you can judge the value of "love" or compare it between realities. To do so I feel it creates an assumption. That people are more honest
about the said subject in "real". When a simple fact remains. That man has been dishonest about "love" long before the internet. If divorce holds the value of failure in
"love" then the real world way of doing things looks a lot more "fake" then a internet realm.



#9 ~SBM~

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 05:58 PM

Hey DocQ, you made some very great points, thank's for sharing that. I agree with pretty much everything you said but I just want to add a couple points. One drawback to falling in love over he internet is that many people on the internet wear masks and aren't genuinely themselves. These people are role-playing which is completely OK, but makes it very hard to know their true selves. For example sometimes you will see pictures on someone's profile and with a little internet search you will find out that the person on the picture is a professional model and clearly not the person you are chatting with. Or other times you have a male role-playing as a female and vice versa. Now I know that there are ways around this like chatting outside the game on skype or meeting in person. 

 

But for me love is only possible if the person is being genuinely themselves. Also i'm not a believer of love at first sight. I believe that it takes time to get to know someone and to genuinely get to know their inner soul. You can't find your soulmate unless you get to know them first. The problem with this environment is that the sexual aspect clouds people's perception on love. My opinion is that instead of being in love many people here are infatuated with the idea of being in love. Also, I find marriage in this game is more of a status symbol than actual genuine love. I recall someone once telling me that they had "won the game" because they were married. I always found that to be a very odd statement. 

 

One thing I will add is that while it is important to have a physical attraction to the other person, physical beauty eventually fades. If you don't actually have an emotional connection than your relationship is doomed to fail. What I look for is for someone's inner beauty, someone with a beautiful soul and someone I can trust. If I can find that, then I would be ready to jump in and take a leap of faith.

 

~sirbigmac~ 


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#10 violetvv

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 07:14 PM

Even in physical form, at a party, or a bar, or anywhere you find and flirt with strangers, honesty is never a guarantee.

 

People turn out to be in relationships, unemployed, give out fake phone numbers (lol), or they might just be trying to get into bed so they can add another notch into their proverbial bedposts.

 

It is absolutely more difficult to lie in person than online, though you'd be surprised lol

 

I wouldn't shut out any means via which people might meet and couple, it's a beautiful thing being in love, but it's also an extremely vulnerable state to be in.  So yes, start out with some basic honesty about who you are and your expectations, then it's a fun trip to build from there.


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#11 VladT

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:39 PM

imho, i answered yes.

the definition of love is very wide. An egoistic feeling to satisfy our need.
Yes, I can also love a person on the internet because with her I satisfy my need. It is mutual satisfaction. It is not a one-way satisfaction. The meeting between two people who need to have contact, intimacy and some responsibility. Sex is missing, true sex I mean. Where there is real physical exchange. But not for this i can't say that is not love. Another kind of love but always love.
 



#12 Nitroo

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 11:46 PM

Yes because it happened to me.

But to keep the relation going you should meet on cam (for example on skype) after some time and finally after some more time meet in real.

The internet can be a good start.


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#13 Colloquy

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 04:01 AM

I've been in 4 relationships that derived from an online connection and all 4 failed. The reason is that I presented a part of me to each of these women while online while hiding the totality of me that is only able to be seen when actually dealing with me in real life. Online, I can choose when to show up. If I'm in a funky mood? I don't have to log on. I can always present that " good guy " persona or that chatty social butterfly. It's the other stuff that revealed itself to these 4 women that had them to say " Now wait a minute, what is this? "

 

RobT said that people are more so in love with the idea of falling love. That's very similar to what one of these 4 women told me when we were actually living together in real life. She would constantly proclaim that I didn't love her but was simply in love with the idea. At that point I didn't get it but now I totally understand what she was saying. When online, we are in the midst of people's ideas of themselves. Are people truly being themselves while online? Are you really falling in love with the person behind the avatar or simply that person's idea of who they think they are?

 

I was that guy that pretty much loved living out the idea. Being a complex being I was very and still am quite complex while online and tried to be the same offline as I was online but for some reason, these women took everything I presented online and expected it to be the exact same thing in real life which I thought was what I was going to do, only to realize I was a totally different reality in real life. To where now I can say, honestly?, LOVE is not possible from an online connection.

 

People say anything is possible and why not love and I have a legitimate argument against it because I've tried it 4 times and the last time actually went to marriage to where now we are getting a divorce. Love is simply this, what you are willing to put up with. What are you willing to tolerate. What are you willing to sacrifice to simply make that other person's life better. I've found out that I was that man that would tell you that I loved you in WORD, which is all online love is, but when it came down to the nitty gritty? That love wasn't real at all.

 

You simply can not know a person in all of their facets from an online connection. I don't care how often the 2 of you spend time together. How often you skype or talk on smart phones. You simply do not know that person entirely until you've actually shared a residential space with them and dealt with real life issues like paying bills together. LIVING together is what HUMANS DO in relationships and LOVE and online you are NOT living with the person you love. How can you say you LOVE the person yet you're not ABLE to do loving things like..

 

1. Cook for them

2. Run their bath

3. Wash her car

 

etc..etc..

 

Online dating is simply the introduction to a book that none of us are ready to go into head first until we actually do it in the way it was truly intended to be done. And that's in the real face to face flesh way. And even in dating someone online for years to then finally make the decision to be with them in the true essence? You've basically met that person for the first time when you finally begin to live together and you can't base what you know of them from online conversation. Simply because of the reality that you don't know.....how that person deals...with living life itself.

 

Relationships is about sharing this life with another, it's not just you and them in some Garden called Eden with God roaming around talking to you. No, you're living life with other human beings taking care of real life responsibilities wanting to do things. Having real goals like perhaps having kids or pursuing a career or even doing bucket list type activities like taking trips over seas. When you're really in it face to face you really then see if you love that person like you said you did all that time while ONLINE with them enjoying the idea.

 

I've never loved a woman a day in my life. I've only in ignorance thought I did but the idea turned into a reality that I was not yet ready for. After 4 attempts and all failing the common denominator for me, if I choose to ever pursue love with a woman again, is to never do it from an online connection.

 

In the words of sirbigmac though, this is just me.


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#14 Naptime

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Posted 15 August 2017 - 01:33 AM

We all could share experience after experience & tear apart the concepts of online vs real until the thread merges into The Schindler's List thread. In "love" one
accepts the moral responsibility. How it started or actions taken to pursue are irrelevant. You are either prepared define the nature of it or your NOT!!! Excuse as
to why it didn't work need a platform if ya like to dwell in it's failure. Cheers!!!!!


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#15 Colloquy

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Posted 15 August 2017 - 02:24 AM

We all could share experience after experience & tear apart the concepts of online vs real until the thread merges into The Schindler's List thread. In "love" one
accepts the moral responsibility. How it started or actions taken to pursue are irrelevant. You are either prepared define the nature of it or your NOT!!! Excuse as
to why it didn't work need a platform if ya like to dwell in it's failure. Cheers!!!!!

 

Oh I don't dwell in it's failure. I just accept that I'm not a loving person. Cheers.



#16 Naptime

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Posted 15 August 2017 - 02:31 AM

Oh I don't dwell in it's failure. I just accept that I'm not a loving person. Cheers.

No worries!!! I didn't repost to question your experience. Your experience is your problem. I like you gave my opinion. Cheers!!!



#17 Achroi

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Posted 06 September 2017 - 05:44 AM

Hey DocQ, you made some very great points, thank's for sharing that. I agree with pretty much everything you said but I just want to add a couple points. One drawback to falling in love over he internet is that many people on the internet wear masks and aren't genuinely themselves. These people are role-playing which is completely OK, but makes it very hard to know their true selves. For example sometimes you will see pictures on someone's profile and with a little internet search you will find out that the person on the picture is a professional model and clearly not the person you are chatting with. Or other times you have a male role-playing as a female and vice versa. Now I know that there are ways around this like chatting outside the game on skype or meeting in person. 

 

But for me love is only possible if the person is being genuinely themselves. Also i'm not a believer of love at first sight. I believe that it takes time to get to know someone and to genuinely get to know their inner soul. You can't find your soulmate unless you get to know them first. The problem with this environment is that the sexual aspect clouds people's perception on love. My opinion is that instead of being in love many people here are infatuated with the idea of being in love. Also, I find marriage in this game is more of a status symbol than actual genuine love. I recall someone once telling me that they had "won the game" because they were married. I always found that to be a very odd statement. 

 

One thing I will add is that while it is important to have a physical attraction to the other person, physical beauty eventually fades. If you don't actually have an emotional connection than your relationship is doomed to fail. What I look for is for someone's inner beauty, someone with a beautiful soul and someone I can trust. If I can find that, then I would be ready to jump in and take a leap of faith.

 

~sirbigmac~ 

 

You are a being very contradictory, and I am not trolling you here SBM, but in an other post you say that IRL you are introvert whilst in game or online you are extrovert. now how is that being honest and your self at all times?


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#18 Achroi

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Posted 10 September 2017 - 01:48 AM

Gees I wonder why?




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