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A guide to self-preservation


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#21 MeiLing

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 09:48 AM

We use "loserface" in Pidgin and in English too. (abreviation can cause a real mess)

 

A nice guide, a very interesting one. Behaving like IRL and no problem....just flee toxic peoples.


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#22 WeeaboTrashu

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 10:49 AM

So all English are looser ?

 

Good to know for french people that were thinking this since centuries ... but without being sure that it was true ......  *vanish quickly tring to avoid a rain of rotten tomatoes*

 

 

 

 

To Roman : your post is GREATTTTTT Merci.

 

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#23 DarrenD

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 01:53 PM

Yeah, I have very big problem with my "I don't care" attitude. Mostly because I rather not care then get my feelings hurt by someone, but I can also see how that might hurt others. Like coping Tanya's room name and putting it as my own room. She joined and threaten me and all kinds of things. I would've never seen the real her if it wasn't for that. I think of it like this... If you can't handle a joke and go crazy at me then maybe we shouldn't be friends. :P

 

I'd love to roleplay as 50 but I'm way too immature for that. Cx

liked your version of Tanya's room very much :) Why don't you open it more often? I think we should all open our own versions of Tanya's room :)


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#24 chloe

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 02:20 PM

Yeah, I have very big problem with my "I don't care" attitude. Mostly because I rather not care then get my feelings hurt by someone, but I can also see how that might hurt others. Like coping Tanya's room name and putting it as my own room. She joined and threaten me and all kinds of things. I would've never seen the real her if it wasn't for that. I think of it like this... If you can't handle a joke and go crazy at me then maybe we shouldn't be friends. :P
 
I'd love to roleplay as 50 but I'm way too immature for that. Cx


LOL... I countered Tanya back in time with an: NICE GIRLS IN PUBLIC DANCEROOM...

As I saw your clone room in the list, I LOL'd :)
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#25 Deeborah

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 02:31 PM

Do you really want to know?

 

Among many very interesting things in your post, this area had a specific hit in my (little) brain.

 

My position to that is : I only want to know what can hurt the people I interact with.

 

Excepted this, to let my mind concentrate on the personnality of the person that I met/interact with, there are :

1) Nothing that I really want to know, I prefer to guess and let the time build the relation with a good communication.

2) A lot of things that I don't care to know.

3) A small list of things that I do NOT  want to know.

 

Point 3) is the most critical because once you know ... it is too late to forget :unsure: ... never forget that, which is why I think you enlighted this point in such a wise way.


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#26 WeeaboTrashu

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 06:09 PM

liked your version of Tanya's room very much :) Why don't you open it more often? I think we should all open our own versions of Tanya's room :)

 I'd open it up more if she didn't threaten me in pm's and having people consistently harassing me over a room name. XD



#27 Guest_Fuwakumi_*

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 06:10 PM

I'd open it up more if she didn't threaten me in pm's and having people consistently harassing me over a room name. XD


lol :D

#28 RobT

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 06:18 PM

 I'd open it up more if she didn't threaten me in pm's and having people consistently harassing me over a room name. XD

block button takes care of that



#29 WeeaboTrashu

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 06:22 PM

block button takes care of that

 

I rather take a lot of screenshots :D


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#30 RomanFox

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 07:15 PM

Next thing you know, she'll hop in here, you guys will all make a big scene and get my wonderful post closed... And then I'll have to hunt you all down.. :(


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#31 WeeaboTrashu

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 07:18 PM

Next thing you know, she'll hop in here, you guys will all make a big scene and get my wonderful post closed... And then I'll have to hunt you all down.. :(

 

I won't say a thing, I promise! :D

 

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#32 Mulan

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 08:35 AM

@Mulan, I'm hoping I'm not coming across as critical towards these people... this is mostly trying to inform/prepare people that either aren't aware of this or aren't able to fully grasp the situation. Meh.. i don't really know how to accurately describe what this "guide" is.. xD but you get the point.

I wasn't being critical neither was I criticising the people who fall in love quickly. I am just adding to the guide of self-preservation. It is easy to get carried away in 3DX. Like real life love, it doesn't happen overnight. So many feel great in the honeymoon period, then the negatives start to appear. In real life, you work on those negatives (usually). In 3DX it is easy just to run away when the cracks start to appear, because after all, what is 5000 Xgold between friends? :P

Relationships go through ups and downs. If you still love each other after the downs, then that is a good start. Having said that, if you are always arguing going through cycles, rip each other's heads off, makeup sex, repeat. Then you should probably take a good hard look at the relationship. Are you happy? Are you trying to keep them happy? Are you embarrassed what people will think if you end it? Put your pride and other people's emotions aside for one moment and do what is right for you. Sometimes it is right to be selfish and look after your well being.


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#33 RobT

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 05:17 PM

This part is just completely wrong.  Just because someone did not realize they were being tricked, does not mean they were as much as fault as the person who tricked them.  That is victim blaming.  That is not right at all.

this is right and wrong. it is not the fault of the person being mind fucked however if you keep putting yourself in these situations time after time, you are asking for it and have nobody to blame but yourself. 


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#34 Nitroo

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 01:43 PM

And suddenly... another big ass post!

 

Intro

A lot of us have been there. You meet someone seemingly perfect, someone that magically puts a smile on your face as soon as their name pops up under "Online friends" and leaves you a little sad when they have to go. The reason you're booting up the game has become just one thing... To see him/her.

And then suddenly, reality hits you in the face. He/she either disappears, turns out to be someone entirely different or certain other truths come to light... leaving you heartbroken and empty. Welcome to 3DXChat!

 

"When you decide to go into a jungle containing countless deadly predators... you should make sure you're carrying the right equipment". A lot of people tend to go in blind and leave themselves vulnerable because they haven't put any thought in how to handle certain situations. I was hoping to write this post to help people be more aware of what to expect and how to somewhat prevent or handle them when they occur. This isn't a post that will magically solve your situation, but rather a means to help you prepare in case it happens... not only here, but in any multiplayer game similar to it.

To some people, this post might be one of those "easier said than done" posts, and some of the readers will only fully understand what I mean once they've been hit by these situations a few times. In my case, it was a click... a switch that flipped. Fortunately, this no longer applies to me as much (if at all), but hopefully my past experiences will help anyone struggling now or in the future.

 

Being openminded

I hate having to start with the most controversial rule of the game. But it is pretty clear that a large group of players isn't aware that it is in fact there: "Enter the world where all your secret desires come true, where you can be anyone and where you can do anything you want." (Literally written on the homepage of http://3dxchat.com/)

In a way, this is a small hint given to you by the developers to make you aware that both you, or anyone else playing, could choose to play someone or something entirely different from who you/they are in reality. It allows people to escape reality in a number of ways... and I know it sucks to hear this; but all of them are equally as valid as yours. Which brings us to the most reoccurring complaint in 3DX... "She's not a she!". I'm well aware that this is the most controversial topic of them all... some think it shouldn't be allowed at all, others don't mind or care. A guy playing a female character is technically allowed within the rules of the game and the developers can't do much about the fact that it sometimes leaves people hurt. However, I think the best approach would be to allow yourself to be openminded. A lot of our stories, our avatars, our information contain fiction. There are those that take this game very seriously... and even though a whole lot of people think it's ill-advised to do so... It's not against the rules to hope that your in-game partner might one day be your real life one. However, these people are usually the ones that get hit the hardest.

If we were to be able to zoom out a little bit and get a nice overview of the different types of people within 3DX, it would be clear that the people who take this game completely seriously and/or even consider it a dating platform of some sorts are a minority. In most cases, they are relatively new here... or they are veterans who believe that they will eventually meet the right person (which is in the realms of possibility). But because they are in such low numbers... chances are they rarely cross paths with eachother... instead, they come in contact with players who chose to be roleplayers in one way or the other... and at some point, the realization of just how deep these roleplaying stories can go... is enough to have someone burst out in anger (we've all seen it happen on world chat, haven't we?).

 

But how do you handle this? How do you minimize the chances of finding yourself hurt and alone at the end of the day?

The vague answer to this is "be openminded". Even then, chances are you might still experience shitty moments from time to time... but making yourself aware beforehand is usually half the work. I'll warn you right now... The wall of text so far is nothing compared to what this post might end up to be... there's so many common situations to go over... you best grab a cup of tea/coffee and make yourself comfortable.

 

Observe

A good observation can usually give you a lot of information before you engage in conversation or choose to further your existing relationship with someone. A lot of how people dress, have their profile set up or just generally how they behave can give you hints on what type of person you're dealing with. Keep in mind that the list below isn't a foolproof cheatsheet to figure someone out. But they are commonly reoccurring indicators to recognize a certain playergroup.

 

  • Roleplayers

Recognizing a roleplayer is usually pretty simple, unless the roleplay is much more complicated than the common "vampire", "demon", "succubus", "Catgirl/boy", etc... If one takes the time to go through their profile, usually it will be filled with information that points to their character being a fictional work of art. Their race, background story is usually written down in great detail. This should be a big indicator that this person is most likely not going to be exactly the same in real life. They play this game purely for the fantasy aspect of it and rarely seek something serious (but there are exceptions). But in general, the best approach is to accept their fictional character and interact with them accordingly... these people don't enjoy being called out of character unless they choose to.

 

  • Gender Explorers (Is what I like to call them...)

They are a large portion of the playerbase. And all of them have different reasons to be part of this group. A more common one are people who have or wish to change their gender... they explore their "inner gender" here in a somewhat safe environment. However, not all of these people choose to publicly display that information. Some prefer keeping it to themselves, while others will proudly explain their motives in their profile. Because of that... it's hard to fully know whether or not you're dealing with an actual person of that gender or not. Hell... some might not be comfortable sharing that information because they believe it's still pretty much a taboo. They eventually could find themselves romantically involved and never really mention their situation to their partner... and as long as both people can accept the limits of a virtual relationship, that's not really a problem... but to truly prevent getting hurt or hurting someone... It's definitely a must to either explain certain limits or just share your situation... It won't always end nicely, but at the very least you've been forthcoming and there's nothing to blame you for. As far as being partnered with someone that could be considered a Gender Explorer... it's never a bad idea to consider it pretty much a "Schrödingers Cat" situation... The person you're dating is both a girl and a boy until a conclusive result is displayed and it is up to you whether or not you feel comfortable doing so. Do not put yourself in a situation you know you can't fully accept. Think for yourself how you'd feel if the person turned out to be the opposite gender... would you still be able to happily stick together or would it eat at you and cause you to leave? If even the slightest bit of you thinks the second option... explain that to your partner and make your decision accordingly.

Keep in mind you're not always dealing with a person who wishes to change their real gender... some just made the simple choice of wanting to experience how it would be like, without actual plans in reality. However, let me remind you that, no matter what the reason is, it's not against the rules of the game... but I can understand you wished the information was shared rather than kept secret.

 

  • Real Persona's (What else can I call them?)

They are the people that build their character to look as much as their real life selves, behave exactly the same they would in reality and play the game for more straightforward reasons. Some come online for a quick fix of erotic encounters, some play to meet other likeminded people and socialize, build relationships, etc... The first rarely cause any issues because they are barely online. The second type of player often consider the game as a dating platform of some sorts... often hoping for something to grow out of their relationship... something beyond the realm of the game.

Rarely will an only virtual relationship suffice... their attraction tends to be strong and they long for more than just a virtual hug. They wish to feel their partner for real sooner or later and that could cause a problem if their partner isn't wishing for the same thing. Their expectations suppress the understanding of how others wish to play the game and it often causes escalation because both parties didn't really explain their motives and goals. Communication is key, no matter what group you belong to. If you're open about how you wish to play the game, what your limits are and what you want to avoid... and your partner does the same... you'll often find yourself preventing painful truths along the road.

 

  • Trolls

Just for the sake of completion... This group of players are mostly disconnected from any emotional attachments. They enjoy bringing up controversial topics, shouting certain believes with a focus to lure out frustrated players, trigger or upset others and then disappear into nothing. To me, talking to one of these people is about all I need to do to figure out whether or not I'm dealing with a troll. They'll aim to make you feel uncomfortable pretty much non-stop. If you're not a troll yourself... I advise to avoid much contact with them.

 

Caution never hurt anyone

There's a lot of people that claim they found the way to expose whether or not a person is who they say they are. I think we all know that chances are pretty slim that they are... but there's always the exception. Below you'll find a list of "indicators" that people have shared and in a lot of situations they do apply... but I believe they are flawed. The reason I find them flawed is because there are always exceptions to the rule and purely judging someone based on these indicators would be a mistake, but it could be a good way to remain cautious if you choose to be.

 

  • Age

According to some people, "people who play as the opposite gender will opt to choose an age around the prime time of life. Which is usually between 20 and 29 years of age". This is the period where people often look their best... You can understand that this method of trying to figure out who you're dealing with isn't perfect. Some people are just simply that age and chose to write that in.

 

  • "Interested In"

Although a better indicator than "age"... this one is still pretty flawed. I've heard countless times that "a female character controlled by a male player will check both "Men" and "Women"". They check "Men" because that's what is considered a must for women... they need to be interested in men... (we all know that's a load of crap, but it does happen). And then they check "Women" because they are really interested in women! So, according to some people... if both options are checked, you're dealing with a guy playing a girl... Even though chances are high that the outcome is correct... There are still bisexual people in the world and nowadays, people are coming out of the closet more and more because the world is becoming more tolerant and accepting towards same sex couples.

 

  • Profile layout

Another flawed indicator would be profile layout. We've all seen the players with insanely well-made profiles. They took their time using colors, creating borders, ASCII art and much more. They've typed very detailed stories and what not...

To some... "the more female the profile seems... the more male the player is". Once again... this way of thinking is flawed because some just like to have a neat profile while others don't even know how to do the fancy colors... I've met real women with a simple plain white profile with barely any information and I've met some with walls of text and art. I've also met male controlled female characters with both kinds of profiles...

 

  • Insatiable

This is one I've encountered a lot! "Women who are insatiable are probably men...". Although it's pretty much a stereotype that men have higher libido's than women... It's far from true. A lot of women crave affection and sex as much if not more than men. And let's be honest... we're playing an adult game here designed with the main intend of allowing people to have virtual sex... who here doesn't really have a rather high sex drive? Although it could indicate something, I doubt it'll be an accurate clue.

 

  • Inconsistency

Ah, this is somewhat an indicator I can agree with, although it isn't the perfect indicator. People will consider someone a "fake" when their stories don't match with what they told some other time... Although it's a good indicator that something might be off... You still need to consider that certain peope decide not to share complete truths for a number of reasons... whether it is because they wish to retain some anonymity or they forgot key aspects of their roleplaying background story... doesn't make a difference. Of course, certain stories are more revealing than others... You'll need a good judge of character to figure out why something didn't add up. Inconsistency is usually the first one to pop-up... but you'll need a lot more than that to "figure out" someone accurately.

 

  • Emotes

Hmmm... I'm not convinced. "Overusing emotes means they are trying to show themselves more feminine than they are...". It could be true in some cases... but I wouldn't consider it a giveaway.

People such as myself that grew up in the golden age of MSN Messenger often picked up the habit of using emoticons a lot! Back then it was popular to use them and some still have that somewhat hardwired in their writing. Whether they are male or female doesn't really matter, it's a habit and it helps us put some emotion in what would otherwise be emotionless text.

 

  • Attention to detail

"Women pay more attention to detail... men are sloppy...". That might be true. Some men don't put as much effort in making themselves look good as certain women would do. However, does it really mean that if a detail seems wrong here within 3DX that that person is automatically a dude? I highly doubt it. Maybe in combination with a lot of other indicators it could prove correct. But on its own... this indicator is pretty much expendable.

 

  • Writing

This one is the worst indicator I've heard. "Women write better than men... so if you're dealing with a girl that writes horribly, it's a dude!". I think whoever said this is missing the big picture here. The game is played by people all over the world... However, English is pretty much considered the main language to use. Some will try and speak English to satisfy that unwritten rule... but that leaves them with poor grammar and spelling. Not everyone is a fluent English writer, so keep that in mind!

 

  • "No RL"

Ugh... just no. People who know me or have read my other big ass essays on the forum, know that I've played as a female avatar. I never mentioned I didn't want to share real life information... in fact... I did and twisted truth to be more conform to my female identity within the game. I've openly talked about real life events but altered reality to suit my fictional gender. A common claim nowadays is that "If someone refuses to discuss real life, interact outside 3DX or show pictures... he/she is a fake!" Alright, it could apply to some of the players who play the opposite gender... but what about people who truly care about personal privacy? What about people who care about security? Hell... if you're a stalker and some girl openly displayed her contact information... it would be a big mess... just saying! Although it could be an indicator... to some people it's not about keeping their fictional character a secret... but rather about keeping themselves safe from certain well-known evils that lurk the internet.

 

Something to consider

One of the most reoccurring lines within someone's profile other than "I don't bite..." is "I'm here to escape reality". You'll find this line in different player groups and I believe that's actually the truth. However, sometimes people fail to either keep true to that statement OR they end not respecting that the other person wishes to play the game that way. If you're going around in the game pushing everyone to come forth about who they really are while you hold that statement in your profile... you're doing something something wrong or you don't fully understand the meaning of it. Same goes to people who spill information about their real life selves while claiming to want to escape reality... You're defusing the meaning of the sentence with every act you perform against it.

First and foremost, one should respect it when they read it inside someone's profile... (if they actually took the time to read it.) and don't push someone to spill personal information. If that person decides to do so on their own accord, then consider yourself lucky and priviledged.

 

Have I ever wondered about people's true identity? Yes... Have I ever pushed in some way to figure something out? Yes... was it worth it? No... and rarely will be. Some people are strict and won't share anything, which is completely their choice. But to me, in the end... it usually ended up in losing a friend because I was being pushy about it or figuring out information that ruined my initial idea of how a person was. Which brings me to my next topic...

 

Do you really want to know?

Not so long ago... a couple I knew in the game broke up. Even though the girl was in fact a girl and the guy was in fact who he said he was. They have played the game with a certain idea of each other. They have played for so long only having eachother's character as the visual representation of their partner until one day they decided to make a skype video call. Without going in too much detail... that one video conversation broke the perfection they had going using their imagination and fantasy... one of the two couldn't cope with it and, in a proper manner, ended the relationship claiming the fantasy aspect of it all was apparently the strongest connection.

It's not uncommon for us to fill certain unknown things about our partner with ideas of our own. We tend to visualize a fantasy filled idea of how the other person would be like in reality and with longer lasting relationships, breaking that fantasy can be fatal. Sometimes it's just better to hold on to what you have... if it works... then why change it?

It's not uncommon that we fantasize our partner to be what we consider "perfection"... if something takes that away... it'll leave you with a hole that is hard to fix (but not impossible... Damn you exceptions!)

 

Dealing with feelings of infatuation and love

This is a hard one to discuss. People who are infatuated often turn blind.. they're dealing with a serious crush and the overwhelming and intense feelings often leave them vulnerable. They'll accept anything and everything about their partner because at this point... all they want is to be with them. It's a beautiful thing, but it's also a double edged sword. We all heard about how love makes people blind... and in a way, it should... we all need to learn how to accept our partners flaws and mistakes. However, within 3DX you still need to realize that there's so much that could go wrong... and I'm not being a pessimist even. People leave and never return, or they grow bored of the game and either take an extended break or create a new character, etc... a lot can happen and it leaves the other person heartbroken and questioning. However, deep down... we all know there's a high chance of that happening. How many of you have had to say goodbye to great people...? Yep... that's what I mean. In our blindness we forget about these things and we only see the world in beautiful colors and a neverending sunshine.

Another common problem is our feelings growing so big... the virtual presence just doesn't cut it anymore. We want more than just the "idea" of holding eachother. We want to actually feel eachother! Which is ultimately leads to pushing what were considered boundaries. We'll try and push if we can't have that picture, that voice conversation, that skype call or anything... and when dealing with someone who is fine with just the virtual side of things... or maybe someone who's not really a girl/guy... It scares them into breaking up or finally spilling the ugly truth because things are getting to difficult to handle otherwise. However, in a very rare occasion, it works out okay and a real life couple forms... but I wouldn't get your hopes up too much!

 

Conclusion

I could have sworn there was a lot more I wanted to mention, and when I recall any of it... I'll update this post accordingly. But I think it's time to form a conclusion to this post. A lot of you will recognize things that are written above, some of you will leave this post with a newfound idea on how to possibly handle situations better in the future... and maybe some of you will have learned something you weren't fully aware of. As I mentioned at the beginning... this isn't the ultimate prevention guide. The game is about intimacy, and sometimes it will still leave us angry or frustrated. But hopefully I was able to help some of you form a better understanding on what is to be expected... and help you realize that, even though it doesn't suit your ideas... if it's within the rules of the game... there's not really much you can do about it other than being careful and observant. We all pay to play the game in a way we see fit... if you want to dictate how someone plays the game... start paying for their subscription.

 

The best advice I can give you is to keep it in the back of your head that this a game all about fantasies, exploring, experimenting and you'll encounter A LOT of that. Expecting everyone to be exactly the way you want them to be is foolish and in fact a bit selfish. But if you're able to accept the nature of this game and its players. Able to appreciate a character regardless of the gender that is controlling it and use it to feed your own fantasies... you'll find yourself enjoying this game so much more! And that is a guarantee!

 

Thank you so much to all of you who managed to survive this massive wall of text and gave it a read! Feel free to leave any comments down below! Take care and see you next time ;)

 

*Drops the mic...*

 

Ty for this artice. It's great reading and very helpful indeed.

 

I think the "Is she a she?" problem can be solved easily when people just write in the profile of their game character that theyre male in real life.

I saw some do this already.



#35 Domonique

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 02:50 PM

You're right Nitroo, that would be easier.. but you also need to take into consideration the other things around the subject, some people just don't want others to know (for one reason or another, it doesn't matter) and we have to respect their right to privacy. I understand this is a controversial subject with playing opposite genders, there's been a lot of pain on both sides because of it.

 

At the end of the day, we develop lasting friendships and relationships based on the persons personality. No matter how good the RP is to convince you that they're playing the opposite gender, chances are, you still know them as well as you did before finding out that the lied about their gender. There are obviously exceptions, but my experience has been that the personality has remained the same even after the gender reveal if you give them a chance to show you.

 

I get that being lied to hurts, I've had my fair share of being lied to, but if you truly care for the person then it shouldn't matter what's between their legs. Ok, so a romantic relationship might not work out if you're not attracted to their true gender, but there's nothing stopping you from being friends because everything that made you want to know this person is still there.



#36 RobT

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 03:13 PM

You're right Nitroo, that would be easier.. but you also need to take into consideration the other things around the subject, some people just don't want others to know (for one reason or another, it doesn't matter) and we have to respect their right to privacy. I understand this is a controversial subject with playing opposite genders, there's been a lot of pain on both sides because of it.

 

At the end of the day, we develop lasting friendships and relationships based on the persons personality. No matter how good the RP is to convince you that they're playing the opposite gender, chances are, you still know them as well as you did before finding out that the lied about their gender. There are obviously exceptions, but my experience has been that the personality has remained the same even after the gender reveal if you give them a chance to show you.

 

I get that being lied to hurts, I've had my fair share of being lied to, but if you truly care for the person then it shouldn't matter what's between their legs. Ok, so a romantic relationship might not work out if you're not attracted to their true gender, but there's nothing stopping you from being friends because everything that made you want to know this person is still there.

the issue with this stance is this.... you are right , we should respect  them but in turn if you are hiding it and you know your current partner is dead set against it you should respect that also. nobody says you have to tell them, just move on. you can only be respected for your way of playing the game if you also respect someone elses way they want to play.

 

Respect is a two way street. having said that im not going to comment on it again because im not looking to turn this into a she/he issue and take away from the threads intentions 


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#37 Domonique

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 04:39 PM

But as Fox points out, if the person makes their intentions clear from the beginning, that they don't want it to progress to anything outside the game (regardless of the reason why) then that's where it kinda becomes the other persons fault if they get hurt. Which is the point of the post ;3

 

Edit: To clarify.. if someone chooses to try and get involved with someone who has categorically said they don't want anything to progress to outside the game, then they are putting themselves in a position to be hurt.



#38 RomanFox

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 04:40 PM

Ty for this artice. It's great reading and very helpful indeed.

 

I think the "Is she a she?" problem can be solved easily when people just write in the profile of their game character that theyre male in real life.

I saw some do this already.

 

A lot of people will do it... others won't. From my personal experience and that of friends... as soon as you write down you're male... people aren't as eager to interact with you. I think those that decide to not show it publicly are (amongst other things) trying to prevent that. I'm fine with it not being displayed publicly... however, I think they should be honest about it when they feel people are "crushing" hard. There's a lot of exceptions where I feel it's tolerable... But as soon as there is a scenario forming where you'd ending up hurting someone badly... I think you should come out about it.



#39 RomanFox

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 04:44 PM

the issue with this stance is this.... you are right , we should respect  them but in turn if you are hiding it and you know your current partner is dead set against it you should respect that also. nobody says you have to tell them, just move on. you can only be respected for your way of playing the game if you also respect someone elses way they want to play.

 

Respect is a two way street. having said that im not going to comment on it again because im not looking to turn this into a she/he issue and take away from the threads intentions 

 

You're absolutely right, If you know your partner doesn't want a male playing as a female... then just move on. There's lots of people out there who either don't mind or don't care who the person is. As I mentioned in my original post... some are here for roleplay and fantasies... whether the person they interact with is real or not, usually doesn't matter.

As also mentioned in the original post... Mostly those who have a serious issue with it are the people who are looking for something more real than roleplay or fantasies. They want to (in some way) establish a real life connection... whether that is vocal, through video or whatnot, doesn't matter...



#40 Nitroo

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 06:27 PM

Yes this whole gender discussion can be confusing and complicated.

 

But do I take the game too serious when I just don't want to get intimate or have sex with a man? :unsure:




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