A wordy entry today! This post is about friends!
I have been in this game for quite a while now, and I have found there are so many individuals who come, and then a few weeks later they are gone. Even so, I always try to make an effort to make people feel welcome into the game. I think older players especially can be a bit cynical like the game isn't as good as it used to be or all the right people have left. I don't think this could be further from the truth. Over time the community will inevitably change and evolve. If you do not grow with it by making new friends and accepting change, then you will become more cynical and resentful of the game and the new people in it as time passes. This is unfortunate, as I have made so many fantastic new friends since "re-inventing" myself as Mulan.
“Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.”
Even if you have a close circle of friends, step outside of your comfort zone and talk to new people. Some you will say hi and never speak again. But sometimes you find that diamond in the rough who could one day become your best friend and that is what makes it all worth it (EDIT: friends who are overly critical, about everything, and not in a fair and non-judgemental manner - thanks Epi!). While I do stay in the game for my current friends, I am always hopeful and the eternal optimist that I will make new friends who will one day become someone who will become a potential best friend.
As time passed, I became a bit lazy, not speaking to my old friends as much as I could. With Mulan it has been great reconnecting with old friends. Sometimes you get in a relationship and for whatever reason, whether through association with that person or the strange reasoning that because of some crazy thought process you figured that this person probably wouldn't like you, so you never strike up a conversation, and they end up being quite enjoyable.
I have been in this game for quite a while now, and I have found there are so many individuals who come, and then a few weeks later they are gone. Even so, I always try to make an effort to make people feel welcome into the game. It is a great feeling when people experience their first party or come and experience a real conversation which in turn leads to making new friends.
There are also friends that do leave, who you do lose contact with. There are friends who are clingy. The friends who will get jealous if they see you with other people like you owe them something. Everyone needs their space, and you don't owe anyone anything. Another issue I have found is putting a list of your closest friends on your profile. On the one hand, I am proud of my closest friends. However, there is the occasional person who will complain that they are not on the list, sometimes in jest, other times they get quite upset and even remove me as a friend completely and ignore me as a result. I am not sure whether it would just be easier to delete this list or not? Is it useful to identify the clingy people early on? One of my friends says, as soon as she detects intense jealousy and clinginess, they are gone, like a virus that quickly spreads. I am not as brutal as that, but given my experience over the past year or two in real life, I have been more conscious about removing the people from my life who I cannot satisfy. Life is limited, so be with the people who love and respect you.
“Never idealise others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. Genuineness can only nurture a growing relationship.“
To summarise. Be open to making new friends; they are your future best friends. Cherish your current and closest of friends, they are your very reason for being here and will be there for you in your darkest hours and happiest memories. Cut "friends" from your life who regularly criticise, who are clingy, who claim ownership of you with unhealthy jealousy and making you always feel guilty and on edge.
Edited by Mulan, 11 February 2017 - 09:16 AM.