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hating who you have become?


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#21 BreeSummers

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 08:15 AM

 i think this is that in the game i am more outgoin and brash and centre-stage than in RL, never knew why

There are several studies out that explain why this happens. It has to do with being isolated in a your own private space at your keyboard. Same with sitting by yourself in a car and yelling at traffic. You just become very territorial and defensive about your small personal space. People have the tendency to be more outgoing in this environment and unfortunately in most cases it is a negative thing as they just flood the game with their dysfunction and drama unchecked unlike how they would be around other people in real life.

 

As far as the game "changing me"? If I ever start taking it that seriously it is time to quit.


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#22 Amberhawk

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 02:37 PM

There are several studies out that explain why this happens. It has to do with being isolated in a your own private space at your keyboard. Same with sitting by yourself in a car and yelling at traffic. You just become very territorial and defensive about your small personal space. People have the tendency to be more outgoing in this environment and unfortunately in most cases it is a negative thing as they just flood the game with their dysfunction and drama unchecked unlike how they would be around other people in real life.

 

As far as the game "changing me"? If I ever start taking it that seriously it is time to quit.

 

I'm not the original poster but perhaps this above is why I answered earlier that I never felt changed by these games but they have tested me in who I am from time to time.

 

I think it can also have something to do with feeling freed up and anonymous enough to be an ass-hat without any face to face, real life consequence.  Generally I don't give a flying fig who's a jerk and who isn't. I just put them on ignore and move on. I'm here to relax and enjoy, not argue and stress. I do what I can to just stay away from those who love to stir it up.

 

Then again, I guess if they were just cut off from everyone they'd just not come back anyway... win/win for the rest of the members.



#23 Briana

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 04:07 AM

Yes, sometime i may...


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#24 Henkie

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Posted 17 January 2017 - 11:23 PM

Ohhh nah, I love who I am and who I will become...It's me after all :P It's true that people are more dramatic when they are anonymous since you can't exactly get decked in the face for what you do...But such is the life on this place, not much you can do 'bout it


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#25 Reds

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 12:34 AM

I don't hate who I have become, in fact in a small way it has given me more confidence to speak up in group situations in real life.  But I do sort of hate that sometimes I have a severe lack of sleep due to the game.

 

Also, I kinda hate Henkie.  :P



#26 BreeSummers

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 06:44 PM

Henkie is dutch for weenie! 



#27 Henkie

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 06:52 PM

I'll fight ya both, come behind the Macca's at 8 and we'll square up



#28 Fuwakumi

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 07:19 PM

I'll fight ya both, come behind the Macca's at 8 and we'll square up


:(

#29 Reds

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 10:58 PM

I'll fight ya both, come behind the Macca's at 8 and we'll square up

 

/me turns up at 8am and wonders where everyone is.



#30 Rockster

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 03:14 AM

There are several studies out that explain why this happens. It has to do with being isolated in a your own private space at your keyboard. Same with sitting by yourself in a car and yelling at traffic. You just become very territorial and defensive about your small personal space. People have the tendency to be more outgoing in this environment and unfortunately in most cases it is a negative thing as they just flood the game with their dysfunction and drama unchecked unlike how they would be around other people in real life.

 

As far as the game "changing me"? If I ever start taking it that seriously it is time to quit.

It's exactly the same car analogy u used in a pvt to me as KittyCaitlin, come on, can't u hide urself better?



#31 RomanFox

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 06:43 PM

It's so difficult not to respond to this post...

 

Did 3DXChat change me? Most definitely.

Sure my personality is still founded on the same principles and ideas, but the experiences I've had here...

You could say they somewhat made me more realistic, sceptical, weary and somewhat more difficult to approach.

When I started out, I was pretty naive... I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I had nothing but good faith...

I think every "veteran" player can confirm that playing this game on a daily basis, dealing with tons of different people and getting to know these people (sometimes finding out things you don't like...) tends to open one's eyes.

 

Although I wasn't playing my true self when I started... the character personality I had was somewhat a boosted version of who I used to be... and still am (in a way). I learned that it's not always the right thing to jump to someone's rescue... I learned that sometimes you have to let people deal with their problems and not interfere. And sometimes... it's better to walk away. But sometimes you have to show your friends that you're there for them when they need you. It's a bit of a balance that everyone needs to figure out for themselves.

 

Personally... I feel that I'm initially cold towards people. I don't trust them the way I used to and it puts me in some state of alertness... I'd love to say that this only affects new people I meet... but due to some experiences, you tend to look at people differently... and sometimes that means you re-analyse your friends (which is horrible).

 

Do I hate who I have become... no... I'm essentially still the same person. I'm just not that eager to fully put my trust into someone, and maybe that's not a bad thing at all. Let people put a little effort into gaining your trust and I'm sure it'll create stronger relationships (both sexually and as friends).


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#32 Gelda

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 11:51 PM

I do think this game has changed me...I'm more confident in myself, have a stable relationship with someone wonderful, am finally no longer so lonely...I could go on, but that's my two cents.

I'm more or less the same person as I always was, just a bit more outgoing. I can safely say I like who I've become.

#33 Mulan

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Posted 30 January 2017 - 07:43 AM

Short answer. I don't hate who I have become. I have had and continue to have an exciting journey in 3DX. I have made some wonderful friends, I have had some beautiful lovers, I have hosted and DJed at some of the most fabulous parties, and I have made plenty of mistakes. Mistakes which I have learned from and shaped the person or character you see today.

TL;DR
My 3DX journey closely resembles my real life journey over the past year. I started my time in 3DX when my whole life got turned on its head. I never envisioned myself joining a game like 3DX, but 3DX was initially an escape from reality. I was trying to make sense of life. I have found some wonderful friends in 3DX, friends I still have to this day, friends who have gone beyond the game and been a strong foundation in helping me rediscover myself.

Along with a tremendous turmoil in life, sometimes we make bad decisions. During my most depressed, I have fallen into too many relationships and marriages in 3DX, it has become a little in-joke amongst my friends. My only regret is some of the hearts I have broken along the way while trying to rebuild my life, getting my family affairs in order.

Step-by-step, I am figuring life out again. I am confident about the future. In real-life I have been taking steps to create a new life, to live, laugh, and love again. I have considered many times whether to continue with 3DX, and I did leave for a short period. However, it is those wonderful friends that I mention above that keep me coming back, so I was re-born as Mulan, removing some of the baggage of the past. I feel light, free, and refreshed. I have made a lot of new friends and reconnected with old friends.

We will all make mistakes, that is just part of being human. We show our true character by first realising our mistakes and then by learning from our mistakes or loses.
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#34 Domonique

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Posted 05 February 2017 - 09:59 PM

I don't hate who I am, sometimes I'm in denial about it, sometimes I get irritated by it.. but I'll always be me at the core: a little weird, someone who gets a severe case of word vomit (some people have experienced this first hand!) and someone who's naive and sometimes trust the wrong people

 

I don't think the game itself has the capacity to create changes for us, more the people we meet along the way. Before 3DX, I was a very different person than who I am today. I'm still all those things I mentioned, but the people who I've met have shown me that it's ok to be those things, they love me for and in spite of those things. They've given me RL confidence to completely change my RL for the better, knowing that there are people out there who accept me just the way I am.


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#35 Mulan

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Posted 06 February 2017 - 07:24 AM

I learned that it's not always the right thing to jump to someone's rescue... I learned that sometimes you have to let people deal with their problems and not interfere. And sometimes... it's better to walk away. But sometimes you have to show your friends that you're there for them when they need you. It's a bit of a balance that everyone needs to figure out for themselves.

 

As someone who has been in 3DX for quite a while now, I have heard all sorts of personal things. I have spoken to people with depression, social anxiety, people considering suicide, loneliness, fear of their immediate family, unemployment. I will not mention any names, and it warms me that these friends are getting these worries off their chest. Personally, I have been through a terrible year, and I must say that being able to speak openly with my closest friends here has helped ease the burden from my shoulders just by talking to people. Having said that, I do have strong family support and a good network of friends.

 

While conversation does help, I think that Roman is ultimately right. If someone does come to you with a real life problem, then by all means listen and be there for them. However, there is only so much you can do help people with deep-seated issues. They need professional real life help. While conversation can help, sometimes 3DX makes people even more anxious and untrusting and can only add to the problems, rather than help. Ultimately, only the person themselves can take responsibility and go and seek professional advice.


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#36 Primeval

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Posted 12 February 2017 - 08:29 PM

Well....in my case....I did change a lot in game....and that is due to the friends I made in this game....I love them all....hugssssssssss
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