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Life in & out of 3DX as a trans-gendered woman


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#1 AeshyaTG

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 09:52 AM

I live by the belief “live and let live,” so I’ve never understood disagreement or hostility to anyone or anything that I didn’t immediately understand. One shouldn’t judge but should be driven more by the curiosity of it all. That all being said, my day-to-day life never ceases to amaze me with the reoccurring theme of shame and ignorance aimed at me and trans people. Why would anybody audibly insult a human being they did not know or understand? Why would anyone bully or ostracise that same type of person? I can’t answer these questions because I don’t think that way.

 

Just like life outside of 3DX, inside the sometimes very friendly and caring community that I now spend hours in, the level of abuse can sometimes be so much more intense than that of the outside world. The bonus of 3DX is that lil button that allows one to ignore the obnoxious, the rude and the plain dumb.

 

​Im all for people to act out their fantasies in a safe and meaningful way. But what gives someone the right to treat you as a slut(such a horrible term) just because you are a trans-gendered girl. There is no sign around my neck saying..hey guys just come and give it all to me...or hey treat me just like the sex toy that I am..

 

Ive met some very amazing people inside this world. Kind, caring and sincere people whom are interested in knowing you more for friendship rather than just a quickie...(dont get me wrong I like a quickie just as the next girl) but with people I know. Sex is much more pleasurable from the experience of knowing a person...the build up, the flirt..

 

Im on a journey here...exploring my boundaries, broadening my horizons, learning about tolerance and sharing my story. As I find inspiration to contribute to this I will share uncomfortable things about my life and transition, not for your sympathy, but more for my cathartic freedom. Maybe a legacy that I can leave..to help others that I've met here so far that are unsure about the sexual choices they so desperately want to make, but are afraid of the consequences.

 

 I hope you enjoy the journey too. :)


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#2 LaylaK

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 03:26 PM

Hey Aeshya,

I think I understand what you're feeling and experiencing.

There's lots of kind and interesting people in here, but from time to time you stumble onto some weirdo with a low IQ or bad manners (or both :) ).

But let that not discourage you from being who you are. Wish you a happy new year and maybe our paths will cross next year ;) Kiss, Layla


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#3 Zokora

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 04:07 PM

Hi Aeshya,

 

don't let you discouorage by some weird experiences. Sometimes you need to have a thick Skin, but a lot of awesome people here are worth playing this game.

You can't change that some People might try to Insult you, but you decide if you let it get to your heart.

Don't take this too serious, you give those Insults more than they should get.

 

Kisses

Zokora

This game is for fun


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#4 chaostika

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 04:25 PM

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#5 KYUSS

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 04:28 PM

bdsmlr-1567-BAmGRwQGOK1.jpg?id=60455704


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#6 Cordelia

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 09:04 PM

I've never experienced any animosity of that type here nor in Achat, where I played for two years, before coming here. However, I  have had a few comments in Second Life since I started playing there earlier this year.

They are only games so I figure they are just role playing and I treat it as such ;)



#7 Nicci

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 11:04 PM

Aeshya, you can consider me one of those people who would be thrilled you know you as a friend, I have met many here who identify themselves as  either TG, TS  and several are among my very good friends. Those who hate will hate regardless, don't let it effect you. There are plenty of people here who will except you for for just who you are  


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#8 chaostika

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Posted 28 December 2016 - 11:57 PM

just as nicci wrote:
 


1gqg63.jpg

 
... here too, besides all other friends no matter what kind of gender, sexual orientation, religon and or country ...

 

- just seeing, answering, meme making, postn, typn n saying -


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#9 syaoran38

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 12:07 AM

i dont mind tg and ts people i like chatting with them there cool people ill friend them almost instantly after chatting with them.



#10 Sage Stoner

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 01:40 AM

Actually, I think one of the few things the Devs here don't get enough credit for is having made this game and this forum welcoming to people of all sexual identities.

 

I experienced some homophobia when I first came out on this site, but the moderators at the time always came to my aid and shut down whatever harassment there was.

 

The only thing I might ask of the Devs is that they more strongly promote the fact that 3DXChat is intended to be a place where people of all sexual identities can interact with one another without fear of hostility or harassment.  


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#11 AeshyaTG

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 02:38 AM

In a way I dont write this blog because I feel ostracised by being TG. I find some people behaviour interesting. Many men secretly wish they could have sex with a TG but dont want their friends to find out. Take last evening for example. In the new Saloon. I was dancing with friends and i got a cold caller. “Hello there,” he says. “Hi,” I say, slightly confused. “I’ve seen you here before,” he continues. “Yeah, I hang out here at times,” I claimed kind of condescendingly. “You suck dick?” he asks/suggests shamelessly. “Are you kidding me?”, I ask a little outraged. “I’ve been with girls like you before, you’re good at it, I get off on it.” “Umm, yeah, NO you have the wrong idea, I love myself, I’m not the kind of person you’re looking for. I don’t do that,” I said with all of the calm and patience I could muster.“No it’s OK, I won’t tell anybody, specially my guy friends?” he finished. A close friend of mine taught me a secret to the colding action...accept their requests and then leave em hanging. I told him I would meet him in the car park. Lol he went outside to look for it.

 

Im only truly happy when I’m with my LGBTQ friends. Or in the house, which is pretty much the same thing. Booze, good music and the people you love can compare with nothing else in the world, I think. We dance, we drink, we kiss and schmooze, all without judgement on how we live our lives. We make new friends, talk to each other, we get happy, forget our worries. I was  approached by a cute gay guy I don’t know who has a twinkle in his eyes, a pep, a spunk. “You’re such a hot trannie!,” he yells to me over the music. Pretending not to be insulted by such a rude statement I simply say, “Thank you” all the while dancing away from his uncouth ass. Who says these things to people? Are we that desensitised as a society that there is literally no filter in human decency and communication? I feel like I was born and raised in the 1920s sometimes. A time where people minded their own business and only spoke such trash in the privacy of their own homes. I don’t know, maybe I’m the crazy one for wanting to be treated as an equal. 

 

Its an interesting world we have created.



#12 RobT

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 02:49 AM

what you are explaining happens to many here, not just TGs.  happens to lesbians, gays, heteros, It is not inclusive to transgenders.   When you mix the internet with a game whos primary draw is sex you are bound to get all kinds. The block button is your friend because no matter how long you are here, no matter what sexual preference you have, it will never stop unless you confine yourself to your room. Doesnt make it right, its just the reality of it


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#13 SayaX

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 07:29 AM

what you are explaining happens to many here, not just TGs.  happens to lesbians, gays, heteros, It is not inclusive to transgenders.   When you mix the internet with a game whos primary draw is sex you are bound to get all kinds. The block button is your friend because no matter how long you are here, no matter what sexual preference you have, it will never stop unless you confine yourself to your room. Doesnt make it right, its just the reality of it
 
Scientifically referred to as the "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory".
 
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
 
greater-internet-fuckwad-theory-1.jpg
 
Anonymity is a fundamental right and is something I like about 3DX but some people abuse this right to bully others. 

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#14 Zokora

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 08:16 AM

what you are explaining happens to many here, not just TGs.  happens to lesbians, gays, heteros, It is not inclusive to transgenders.   When you mix the internet with a game whos primary draw is sex you are bound to get all kinds. The block button is your friend because no matter how long you are here, no matter what sexual preference you have, it will never stop unless you confine yourself to your room. Doesnt make it right, its just the reality of it

 

This is a simple matter of missing respect in our Society. So many People are fast in judging others due to amything they do not understand or do not like.

 

Mostly a sign of low selt-esteem, trying to put others down to the level they see themselves, and the anonymity brings that all out as they can do this without any consequences.

The bad thing is, you can't change this, but you still decide how much you let this affect your life. You let them win more control about your feelings and your life, if you pay too much attention to it. You can't change those people but you can avoid them and change their influence on your thoughts and feelings  There is other places and people here who do not judge you because of anything. I'm trying to keep my Adventureworld as a place for retreat of all those weird people, a place where you can have fun and chat.

 

You rather seem to be someone everyone can be glad to have as a friend, so just stick to those who are able to value that.

 

Kisses

Zokora

 

This game is for fun


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#15 nobody

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 02:30 PM

200w.gif#146

i'm wander if people know what is the difference between a transgender and  transexual ??????



#16 nobody

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Posted 29 December 2016 - 03:14 PM


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#17 DarrenD

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Posted 30 December 2016 - 07:38 PM

I find it hard to understand that in a game like this, where the number of ppl playing as a different gender is very high (and not because they are homosexual), that in such a game you are being insulted as a slut in a bad and rude way because you are TG.

 

This actually has nothing to do about being TG, TS, hetero, homosexual or whatever, this is just bad manners. Unfortunately, games like this one are highly attractive for all kinds of sociopaths ...

 

Just either be what you are ... or be what you prefer to be. Be difficult, because you've only got this one life :)


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#18 AnyNameWillDo

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Posted 30 December 2016 - 08:35 PM

 

 
Scientifically referred to as the "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory".
 
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
 
greater-internet-fuckwad-theory-1.jpg
 
Anonymity is a fundamental right and is something I like about 3DX but some people abuse this right to bully others. 

 

 

 

That's the precise formula for world chat....


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#19 AeshyaTG

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 09:32 AM

I think we can make a conscious choice to be happy. 

It is a given that life is, by its very nature, extremely complicated and if it isn’t we will find a way to make it so. The trick might be to accept that despite your best efforts you will constantly be dodging obstacles.

Probably the hardest thing to decipher in this life is how much of the instruction you are given is actually useful and beneficial to you. We are all either privy or victims to parenting that depends on a luck of the draw and we sometimes spend years undoing damage. I don’t think anyone has it easy.

Contentment comes from within and radiates outward allowing you to filter the blows you receive from life. The perspective you gain then allows for more personal growth to add to your arsenal of weaponry.

At the end of the day I have very little to complain about and I know it. I can also look at the glass half empty or half full and that is a deliberate choice I make.

For some strange reason, accepting that suffering forms part of the natural state of existence helps soften the blow. You can choose to become better or bitter in the circumstances that you find your life in. Being happy isnt a state of mind, its a choice that I make everyday, because smiling uses less muscles than frowning and feels so much nicer anyway.


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#20 AnyNameWillDo

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 11:31 AM

I live by the belief “live and let live,” so I’ve never understood disagreement or hostility to anyone or anything that I didn’t immediately understand. One shouldn’t judge but should be driven more by the curiosity of it all. That all being said, my day-to-day life never ceases to amaze me with the reoccurring theme of shame and ignorance aimed at me and trans people. Why would anybody audibly insult a human being they did not know or understand? Why would anyone bully or ostracise that same type of person? I can’t answer these questions because I don’t think that way.

 

Just like life outside of 3DX, inside the sometimes very friendly and caring community that I now spend hours in, the level of abuse can sometimes be so much more intense than that of the outside world. The bonus of 3DX is that lil button that allows one to ignore the obnoxious, the rude and the plain dumb.

 

​Im all for people to act out their fantasies in a safe and meaningful way. But what gives someone the right to treat you as a slut(such a horrible term) just because you are a trans-gendered girl. There is no sign around my neck saying..hey guys just come and give it all to me...or hey treat me just like the sex toy that I am..

 

Ive met some very amazing people inside this world. Kind, caring and sincere people whom are interested in knowing you more for friendship rather than just a quickie...(dont get me wrong I like a quickie just as the next girl) but with people I know. Sex is much more pleasurable from the experience of knowing a person...the build up, the flirt..

 

Im on a journey here...exploring my boundaries, broadening my horizons, learning about tolerance and sharing my story. As I find inspiration to contribute to this I will share uncomfortable things about my life and transition, not for your sympathy, but more for my cathartic freedom. Maybe a legacy that I can leave..to help others that I've met here so far that are unsure about the sexual choices they so desperately want to make, but are afraid of the consequences.

 

 I hope you enjoy the journey too. :)

I've witnessed inflicted on others what you suffer first hand and I do agree genuine TG members of our community are targeted in a unique way. However, there are some general observations I would like to make, which although are hardly encouraging, at least might help you feel less isolated.

I think nearly all whose in-game sexuality is represented by the female physical form have experienced being treated as sexual objects - bodies devoid of heart, mind and soul -  and reduced to mere holes to penetrate by straight men, however those straight men might choose to present themselves. And the easiest way for such players to justify (to themselves) their dehumanising thinking, is to re-frame their target from being 'human' to being  'sluts' -  a person who proffers sexual favour without the power of choice, and sex becomes something to be taken rather than given. And guess what? If you say no, you are still a slut for leading them on, for being sexual in the first place. My wife suffers this -  a very sexual person by nature and as a result people make misguided assumptions.

 

It's about power and control, but more of that later.

This is a path walked by many male players here and they don't discriminate: straight, lesbian, trans gender - all are objects and their target's sexuality - which is of course an expression of free will -  must be ignored because sluts aren't people. But yes, I have observed this in it's starkest form when directed towards openly trans gender players. I can't profess to entirely understand the psychology behind this, because I don't identify any of this behaviour in myself, but perhaps these men feel that someone who apparently defines themselves sexually beyond the physical form are a purer form of sexual object, in their warped thinking?

All this is magnified because people enjoy anonymity. The men who trample all over our world as unwelcome sexual predators are more than likely nothing of the sort in real life and they came to 3DX to feel that sense of masculinity they cannot manufacture in the sphere of flesh and blood, and the mere fact they are abusing an avi made of pixels on a screen probably helps them dehumanise further. I feel many men come here to feel that sense of power and control they cannot in the real world.

People say 'but this is a sex game, deal with it.' Bull shit. Sex game or not, people deserve a level of respect. That said, if we consider the mindset of most people when they join - looking for a place to have sex- your battle and the battle nearly all girls face too, is likely to be a never ending one.

That said, there are lot's of good men in-game too, maybe more than we realise because it's all too easy to focus on those who upset than those who reassure, and 'nice' is a very understated characteristic compared the the brashness of the faux-dom. Kudos for starting your blog and when I see you in-game I will say 'hi'.
 

:)




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