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Epi's beginners guide


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#41 Twiggy

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 10:18 PM

Hey Epi, great post.

I have been watching it build and what you are doing as people give you some really good feedback.

I think it will help a lot of new players to get started.

 

A couple of points I wouldlike to add.

I noticed there talk about not just saying Hi when you approach someone.

For me anyway, I answer as many pms as I can, even if it just to say sorry i am busy right now, try me again later, it doesn't really matter what they say in thier 1st line.

But what I will add there is I think people need to think more about what they will say after they say Hi.

To many say hello then find it hard to continue the conversation and we have to generate it.

So I say look at things like the persons profile, notice what they said in local chat and such and think of something you can talk about before saying hello.

It not only makes it easier for the person you are trying to meet, it also gives a better impression.

 

The other is about when choosing the gender of your avi.

I think another point that needs to be made there is if they do choose to use a gender other than thier own, often it leads to another problem that i don't think has been mentioned yet.

If they play a different gender for a decent length of time and build up a good friends list and group of people they hang with.

Then they decide they want to for what ever reason start to play as thier real gender, then they either have the problem of just about starting again or trying to let everyone know they have been playing as a different gender.

Now I know it may seem to not be that big a problem, but I have known quite a few people that have had to go through it, and 2 people that are trying to sort that out right now.

It can be quite a big deal and take a lot of time and effort, loosing some of their friends as they do.

 

Not sure if this is the kind of feedback you are looking for but thought I would add it in just in case.

 

Anyway keep it up Epi, great job


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#42 LexiKitty

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 10:36 PM

Hey Epi, great post.
I have been watching it build and what you are doing as people give you some really good feedback.
I think it will help a lot of new players to get started.
 
A couple of points I wouldlike to add.
I noticed there talk about not just saying Hi when you approach someone.
For me anyway, I answer as many pms as I can, even if it just to say sorry i am busy right now, try me again later, it doesn't really matter what they say in thier 1st line.
But what I will add there is I think people need to think more about what they will say after they say Hi.
To many say hello then find it hard to continue the conversation and we have to generate it.
So I say look at things like the persons profile, notice what they said in local chat and such and think of something you can talk about before saying hello.
It not only makes it easier for the person you are trying to meet, it also gives a better impression.


People also should write in their profiles what they like to talk about (hobbies, what brings you here....) that helps to get in nice conversations. Ok at least you can talk about 3DXChat with many of them because they love it ;)


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#43 Epi

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 10:49 PM

Thanks so much for your feedback, Twiggy. It's great, actually. I'm planning to expand on the section about how to approach people, I think, since there has been a lot of feedback around that.

 

I've had a lot of comments about Gender choice... as you can see I tried to shy away a little from the subject, since I've seen the heated arguments in the past, and don't want to start another one. That said... I did kind of want to reflect what you said... trying to... without judgement say - this is a choice that has consequences potentially. Here is my section on it:

 

 

I'm not going to comment on gender, there are lots of reasons for playing as the opposite of your own gender, and lots of reasons for not. Play how you need to, but be aware the choice you make may have ramifications later. Some people object to discovering your gender does not match your biological one. If this troubles your conscience you might wish to add a comment when you fill in your profile to this effect in order to avoid emotional stress for others later.

 

It's a tricky one to get right. I'd really appreciate feedback on how to improve this text.


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#44 Reds

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 01:16 AM

Great topic epi!  This would have been very useful when I started months ago, simply to understand what the game actually is, or can be.  It is what it says on the tin - avatars having sex - but we all know it is so much more than that, and sex becomes a minor aspect for so many of us who love the silly chatty side or whatever other side.

 

I agree with AHT and Twiggy - I always respond to a "Hi".  Even if the profile is one that you might not like on the surface, the person behind it can be very different once you engage in friendly chatter.  We say "hi" in real life, I don't see it as a massive horrifying crime to do the same in here.  If you enjoy saying a friendly "hi" and someone doesn't like it - you were probably never going to be great friends anyway  :P  I've met lovely people who have no interest in sex who contacted me through a "hi".

 

I also agree with Twiggy on the follow up... think about something to say after the initial hellos!  If you've got nothing to contribute, at worst the person will dislike you, at best you'll make the person you are contacting do all the work to continue the conversation.

 

 

I would add (not to the OP Epi, this is just my contribution to the thread :P) to not get offended if someone doesn't respond to a PM within a timeframe you deem appropriate.  

 

It could be that they're getting pm bombed, are working their ass off in local, are afk because of a rl emergency, are working on their room and have the chat window closed, have alt-tabbed away, have fallen asleep, have accidentally closed your chat tab while moving their avatar.... and a million other reasons I can't fathom.  Some love to pm across rooms, some love to meet up naturally in one of the locations and then pm, some rarely pm but use local instead... we all have different preferences.  

 

If someone friends you... I would suggest it generally means they like you and have no intention to piss you off.  

 

If someone isn't responding to pms how and when you would like, try to make allowances for it or find a new friend I guess!  I tend to lean on the "make allowances" side because online, and particularly with text-based communication I need to give people a ton of leeway otherwise I would end up with hurt feelings all the time  :)


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#45 violetvv

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 03:35 AM

Everything Reds said, yes!

 

I've encountered this, of people so quickly becoming defensive when you don't answer an message right away.  Imagining every second of silence as a microaggression, as the person on the other side actively ignoring them, when it could be a ton of different reasons why a reply isn't quickly forthcoming, like Reds mentions.  To the point where their fifth, or tenth, PM in a quick series of--as of yet--unanswered messages asks "are you mad?", at which point, you actually are lol

 

I personally can barely handle two conversations at once, so if a third one pops up I rarely click it, unless that person is in the same room as me.  To them I simply say, "sorry, I'm a little preoccupied right now."

 

I wrote a little piece on my profile saying just that, that if I don't reply I'm busy and don't want to be rude.  I did it in the hope of avoiding at least some misunderstandings, but really, I cannot make myself responsible for someone else's feelings, or reactions, if I didn't actively intend for them.  Whenever I've run into the least bit of drama, just the scent of it, I've dropped the conversation and just as often clicked 'unfriend'.

 

So the lesson, Reds puts it more beautifully, but to add to it: don't be a drama queen  :P  lol


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#46 Reds

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 04:10 AM

Haha, thanks violet and yes, I agree with your last sentence, that sums it up nicely if not abruptly  :lol:

 

I wrote a little piece on my profile saying just that, that if I don't reply I'm busy and don't want to be rude. 

 

That's a good idea, I might try something similar.  My only concern is I don't wish people to misinterpret it as "I don't respond to PMs much" because (imo) I work my ass off to respond to PMs and not appear rude.

 

So I need to word my sentence that is trying to avoid misinterpretations very carefully so I avoid any misinterpretations of the sentence that is in existence to try and avoid misinterpretations.

 

*needs to have a lie down*

 

And don't misinterpret that to mean I need to have a screw, I just need a rest!  Sheesh!  :P



#47 Baboo

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 06:27 AM

Well done Epi a great resource for the new player!

#48 Woodstock

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 01:01 AM

great guide Epi, many thanks for it. 



#49 Wildesires

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 09:15 PM

Thank you Epi for this great guide though I am sure some won't read knowing this from other worlds but thats the way it is. I always try to return anyone's greetings unless I am other wise predisposed.



#50 FrenchTouchs

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 10:47 PM

Awsome ! Just EX-CE-LLENT !




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