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12 years a slave


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#1 Nikki

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 05:22 AM

The title for my latest diary entry is very provocative (once again) yet I choose it for a reason cause I 've heard a shocking story for the third time now. I am not going to do naming and shaming here, but what I am going to do is voice my opinion on this matter because this needs to be said and hopefully be stopped aswell.
 
This is a game and no person has the right to control another person. Some might say there is this Dom/Sub thing and I accept this, but it is a little different from what my concern is about.
 
My concern is about when a virtual world affects / disturb your real life in a great portion. Aka when you have sleep problems, don't go to work or even lose money due to it. Yes you read correct. Money.
 
They call it favour, I call it ransom and blackmailing. As soon as money is involved in a game like this, it is alarming. Especially when I hear the same story from 3 different persons, and I don't talk about some Dollars or Euro. I talk about several hundred which is quite a fortune for some people here.
 
So asking for Ingame gifts is already questionable but since you get a decent daily xGold bonus it is reasonable. But when it goes way beyond it, like people pay some serious cash to buy another person a photoslot for 500k+ because that person begged for it kinda like
 
 "If I really mean something to you, you will buy me the slot right?"
 
What? At this point this whole thing gets a fishy attitude. Because what would be the next thing? A yearly sub?
 
So in that case it goes far beyond that. We talk about real life gifts worth several hundreds of dollar because it is Christmas. So you might say why would one do this. 
 
Simply because:
 
"If I really mean something to you, you will buy me the stuff right?"
 
Oh yeah. So you see where I am going with this. At this point a relationship becomes a prison, a prison where some cannot escape easily, but of course it's wrapped up in a sweet package of love and happiness so the affected person just realize what is really going on when it is too late.
 
When we look at mother nature there is a similar behaviour going on in the world of insects. The black widow. She eats her partner starting from the head while mating with him, and he knows he is going to be eaten but yet continues with the act until the end.
 
I would go too far probably, if I d call the recent case "Stockholm Syndrome" cause it isn't exactly like it but similar.
 
So this Cyber ransoming seemed to have become a thing now and I am really shocked it is wandering through the circle of my friends. Hence why I stand up now and say: 
 
"In a game like this the line must be drawn at a certain point. This far an no further"
 
In my opinion the people that play like that with other people just to get some fancy perks are not supposed to be here. What I am going to do now is writing down all stories I got from the other victims and pass it to the developers and it will be up to them if they allow this kind of action in their game or not. A player who manages to control and manipulate another player so that it affects his / her real life in an unhealthy fashion, should have no place in this game.
 
Some might ask: "How can one get that far?" And I admit I asked that myself many times. Sometimes you don't realize what's going on until it is too late. I think it's some kind of Social Engineering that is applied in this specific cases.
 
And even when it's not all about money it's about attention 23/7. The persons weren't able to talk to their friends without beeing constantly asked: "Why you not talking to me now. Pay attention to me." Ect. Ect.
 
This creates a huge tension and pressure for the victim and makes them give 110% instead of 100% and yet they feel they don't give enough. Of course they get something back. But only a small part of it. Mostly just so much to not ask theirselves the question of they are used and played.
 

Another question might be:
 
 "How is this not known? People talk in here a lot about stuff like this and if it affected three persons already how do they not know from each other?"
 
It is actually a good question but I also have a good answer for that.
 
"Everyone tries to ruin my reputation in this game, especially my ex partners so don't listen to their lies or the lies their friends tell you."
 
This is what I got to hear all the time when I asked how that could happen. So as you can see, someone is doing a pretty good job here. I used to call it brainwashing cause I 've almost been into the trap myself but I pulled the emergency brake when I realized what's going on.

 
Nowadays I call it mind slavery. And you can't deny it somehow applies to the current case
 
To wrap this up...
 
People should really be super careful with their IRL informations. Revealing too much of it can end disastrous. Of course you will say: "I don't reveal anything" but it is a slow and silent process and often starts with harmless apps like Discord, Skype and Telegram.
 
You should have in mind that this is the foot in your frontdoor that the person with malicious intent needs to gain control of your real life and even more to get control of you.
 
I 've been a victim of stalking that originated from the internet myself so I know what I am talking about. On the day I was able to get out of my personal hell, I 've sworn I will get rid of any information someone is able to find about me on the web. I deleted all my personal social accounts. Made sure all my pictures are taken of the search engines and I created myself a fictional internet persona.
 
Some might say it will still be possible to find me. I agree. But it won't be as easy as before. Someone will have to pull a huge effort to do this with little chances of success. So I can say I am relatively safe. But not everyone is careful with the informations they give out on the web or who they trust.
 
I hope I got you readers some food for thought and next time you enter 3DX you might think about if you better leave your IRL at the doorstep and play the game as it is supposed to be. Also if you have similar experience please share and dont be shy or ashamed of it. I only know about 3 cases but I am pretty sure theres many many more.


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#2 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 06:14 AM

I will just say this is a slippery slope. You are asking the game makers to protect people from themselves and in all honesty thats not their job to do.

What you have said is shady as hell and personally i know of a woman here who gets her sub paid for in that way but ive not said much because its not up to me how anyone spends the money they have.

If anyone is that easily persuaded they really shouldnt be playing and my suggestion also is to out these people who do it. While you may not be able to help someone right now it will perhaps help someone in the future not to be taken advantage of . just my two cents.
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#3 Nikki

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 06:23 AM

I will just say this is a slippery slope. You are asking the game makers to protect people from themselves and in all honesty thats not their job to do.

What you have said is shady as hell and personally i know of a woman here who gets her sub paid for in that way but ive not said much because its not up to me how anyone spends the money they have.

If anyone is that easily persuaded they really shouldnt be playing and my suggestion also is to out these people who do it. While you may not be able to help someone right now it will perhaps help someone in the future not to be taken advantage of . just my two cents.

 

You got solid and valid points there Rob... and I really tried to look aways and say to myself "It is not my buisness" but... it gets harder with every new case especially if you realize all thoose are 100% identical and people dont see it :(

 

I just got blocked by this person and its victim blocked me aswell (because probably was told to do so!). Weird part is the victim came to me in the first place letting it shine through that there needs to be a way out of this... and if someone comes to me I am the last person to look away and not trying to help.

 

But today everything seems to have changed so I guess someone is doing a very good job and someone else is a very weak person to see the damn truth... Brainwashing and Mindslavery...

 

I cant find words for that.


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#4 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 11:53 AM

Yes it sucks i know and really sucks because its a friend so its tough. I agree with you 100 percent

#5 Caren

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 01:23 PM

Ugh. That is all sorts of unhealthy. In college my women's studies class talked about this kind of thing irl and had a whole section on online safety, but it's sometimes hard to see that it's happening and harder to stop it before there's a disaster.

This sits next to my keyboard for a reason, and I can't really recommend it enough...

https://www.amazon.c...art girls guide

Stay safe,

Caren
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#6 LovelyBritney

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 03:42 PM

I didn't even want to reply because there was no naming in the post but, some of your points and examples are way too specific to be left unanswered. They are exactly what you told to my partner when you told her you would try "pull chords" to get me banned because I apparently just use people only to get stuff from them. I will speak about my part of the story regarding this topic and what involves me, so if this is happening in another relationship, I'm not answering for that.
 
You talk about emotional blackmail, making people buy stuff and force them to do stuff and all that does sound crazy and I gotta say, you have a good way with words and also complete lies in my case.
 
Me personally, I actually received real life stuff from two people I dated and none of them went to hundreds of dollars like you claim and probably not even above hundred dollars. It also isn't as dramatic as you claim by me saying "buy me this if you love me". That has never happened and I have never forced or asked for a something irl. I was offered stuff and there is a lot of stuff I declined and there is also plenty of gifts I gave back to those people in form of real life items as well... and well we are talking about games here. I actually never received an actual item other than a game on steam in which was mainly to play together with the other person or an xmas gift. ALL of those gifts were fully voluntarily and I have multiple times told both of those persons that they don't have to give it to me if they don't want to waste their money on this.
 
I was actually given my 9th pic slot by my ex on here in which she bought for real money and I actually talked to her about not spending money like that on stupid things like pic slots because it's not worth it.. I have never asked her to buy it nor mentioned it, she just did and would never do it again now because I spoke with her about wasting money online like that.
 
From what Nikki describes, yes it does sound really bad I will agree... but the reality is completely different in my case at least and there is nothing wrong with it in my eyes, nor the eyes of people who are involved that I spoke with. I spoke with both persons today and they both said they were not forced nor demanded from me to buy those games and did it either for us two to be able to spend more time together and play games or to just make me happy which is sweet, but not required in any way, shape or form. And as I said, most of those were Christmas gifts in which I have given them stuff back as well, reached into my pocket and got some last spare dollars I have, even tho I struggle to barely pay rent. I just wanted to buy them stuff as well because I felt like they should get something too so they don't feel exactly the way you describe, which they never felt.
 
I have almost all the chat logs regarding all the gifting which is around probably 6-7 games in total from 2 different persons in which the price of the game was never higher than 25 dollars.. so no, those are not 60+ dollars game that I was given nor expensive real life items that go to hundreds of dollars.
 
 Just to say few last things, yes we have blocked you because we don't want anything to do with you and it was actually not me who came up with blocking you, but my partner after realising what you were telling her was bunch of crap and actually trying to break up our relationship.
 
 Last thing I wanted to speak about is the real life stuff like Telegram, Skype or Discord. I understand you might be afraid of those, but not everyone is and people don't use it to gain control over you, but to actually communicate with the people they hold close, which includes close friends or the person they love. They use those apps to agree on times when they will log in, or talk random stuff when the other person is out of town for examples. It doesn't do any harm at all if you add only people you trust and are close with, and if someone bothers you on there or you feel like it's affecting you, you can always deactivate your account or block that said person and I can safely say there is a lot of relationships on 3DX who use an out of game communication.
 
I am not going to give anymore feedback to this unless more accusations arise, as last thing I want, is to get involved in those kind of rumours. If you wanna go ahead and speak to the owners, feel free, but I have my side of story too, I have all kinds of chat logs with actual proof and even transaction logs from most of the gifts since they are on steam, as well as statements from both of the persons and they are willing to speak up as well if things get more serious.

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#7 KylieJenner

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:21 PM

Yay! My turn. If you don't know by now I am said "victim" Hi!

 

I was gonna keep my mouth closed but god damn, as most you know I simply can not. 

 

Anyway, lets get this out of the way. Nikki, first of all you saying I came to you about it is a total lie. Come on, we have been friends for what now, like a year? I was talking to you as a friend, joking around, laughing, what ever. I even sent you a gift as a joke. Things were good. Then you go to ask me how Brit and I are doing. I say we are doing great. Which we are! But you dug, and you dug deep. Now I must say, your words. Wow. You have a way with them. You even got me to think I was the victim! But lets get some facts straight real fast. Brit has gotten some stuff sure, but she never asked for them and certainly did not "milk" me for them. I even told you yesterday when we were talking she even gave me things in return! I changed my sleep schedule for her I told you. I did that on my own before we were even dating. She never told me nor even asked me to. Its the sacrifices people make when they love someone. 

 

Now from what I understand Brit is like your kryptonite. She wears you out without even doing anything. I already know you 2 have a past. Its no secret. I also see now that you have gone out of your way multiple times with her exs even to do what you did to me. It doesn't work Nik, it just wont. Because after you worked hard to convince me of being a victim and then you logged off I thought. I thought for a while and it didn't make any sense what you were thinking. I chose to do these things without a single word from Brit. I wanted to do these things because I want her to be happy! And she was and we were super happy. Until you came along and decided you wanted to force your way in the middle for no reason. So Nikki, I ignored you in game. Wanna know why? After 2 years here I have had so much drama and I left. After coming back I didn't want shit like this to happen. And I didnt expect it from YOU. But shit happens and I will just sweep you under the rug like I do with all the others that like to start things for no reason. 

 

So the strings you said you were gonna pull to try and get her banned won't work because from what I hear from the higher ups you like to think you have power. You don't even have any sway. Oh and who you said would help, she won't. So anyway, lets all just move on and forget this happened. I'm happy with who I am Nikki, are you?

 

Have fun all 


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#8 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:26 PM

first of all drama queens....   she never said a name so you bitch's just want to stir shit up. 2nd of all, NOBODY takes screenies unless they are up to something shady or covering crap up. Its not like i have convos with my friends and then think to my self.... i should screenie this for no reason


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#9 LovelyBritney

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:28 PM

first of all drama queens....   she never said a name so you bitch's just want to stir shit up. 2nd of all, NOBODY takes screenies unless they are up to something shady or covering crap up. Its not like i have convos with my friends and then think to my self.... i should screenie this for no reason

 

She did not mention name here, but she mentioned names to Kylie in private message which is basically what she said here now and that's why we commented on OUR part, not the whole issue if it happens elsewhere. She also had to send her a PM with a link to this post so that kinda says something as well.

 

Also, we do not take screens, the chat logs are from Telegram.


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#10 Nikki

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:29 PM

Thank you for taking the time to step up and reveal yourself both of you. I am really surprised how all of this turns out a day later and sounding like "Oh it wasnt like this". I tried to help and step up for a friend, but the way I see it I have been played myself once again. Have fun with whatever you do... just dont come back to me later saying "You where totally right, I am sorry" because that train has passed now.

 

Oh also note to myself: If you see someone might need your help. Look away next time and move on.

 

 

C'est la vie


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#11 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:32 PM

Yay! My turn. If you don't know by now I am said "victim" Hi!

 

I was gonna keep my mouth closed but god damn, as most you know I simply can not. 

 

Anyway, lets get this out of the way. Nikki, first of all you saying I came to you about it is a total lie. Come on, we have been friends for what now, like a year? I was talking to you as a friend, joking around, laughing, what ever. I even sent you a gift as a joke. Things were good. Then you go to ask me how Brit and I are doing. I say we are doing great. Which we are! But you dug, and you dug deep. Now I must say, your words. Wow. You have a way with them. You even got me to think I was the victim! But lets get some facts straight real fast. Brit has gotten some stuff sure, but she never asked for them and certainly did not "milk" me for them. I even told you yesterday when we were talking she even gave me things in return! I changed my sleep schedule for her I told you. I did that on my own before we were even dating. She never told me nor even asked me to. Its the sacrifices people make when they love someone. 

 

Now from what I understand Brit is like your kryptonite. She wears you out without even doing anything. I already know you 2 have a past. Its no secret. I also see now that you have gone out of your way multiple times with her exs even to do what you did to me. It doesn't work Nik, it just wont. Because after you worked hard to convince me of being a victim and then you logged off I thought. I thought for a while and it didn't make any sense what you were thinking. I chose to do these things without a single word from Brit. I wanted to do these things because I want her to be happy! And she was and we were super happy. Until you came along and decided you wanted to force your way in the middle for no reason. So Nikki, I ignored you in game. Wanna know why? After 2 years here I have had so much drama and I left. After coming back I didn't want shit like this to happen. And I didnt expect it from YOU. But shit happens and I will just sweep you under the rug like I do with all the others that like to start things for no reason. 

 

So the strings you said you were gonna pull to try and get her banned won't work because from what I hear from the higher ups you like to think you have power. You don't even have any sway. Oh and who you said would help, she won't. So anyway, lets all just move on and forget this happened. I'm happy with who I am Nikki, are you?

 

Have fun all 

odd how you are in drama constantly when you are here but its never your fault... interesting


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#12 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:37 PM

Thank you for taking the time to step up and reveal yourself both of you. I am really surprised how all of this turns out a day later and sounding like "Oh it wasnt like this". I tried to help and step up for a friend, but the way I see it I have been played myself once again. Have fun with whatever you do... just dont come back to me later saying "You where totally right, I am sorry" because that train has passed now.

 

Oh also note to myself: If you see someone might need your help. Look away next time and move on.

 

 

C'est la vie

this is why i said in my first post to generally stay out of it even if people cry and moan to you, it always leads to a knife stuck in your back.. learning experience and move on


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#13 RobT

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 04:53 PM

back to the op, i happen to know one person that always sob storys people so they pay for her sub and i know of another who has purchased someone a laptop here. so the shit happens regardless but you cant control what people do... if they want to do it, let them. and always remember.... todays friend is tomorrows enemy.


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#14 Sakuya

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 05:01 PM

back to the op, i happen to know one person that always sob storys people so they pay for her sub and i know of another who has purchased someone a laptop here. so the shit happens regardless but you cant control what people do... if they want to do it, let them. and always remember.... todays friend is tomorrows enemy.

 

THIS!

 

Now close this topic ... my popcorns almost done ...

 

SwdDlV3.gif


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#15 Mirella

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 10:44 PM

I've been a victim in a situation a while ago as well, it was filled with lies and manipulation. I was stupid enough to fall for it and not see the clear signs how I was being controlled. For example, always hanging out with new friends that were her friends, who were easy for her to control and manipulate. It took me awhile to realize it but eventually it made more sense. That relationship had its constant highs and lows, it was the worst kind of emotional roller coaster. All the drama and stress just drained my energy, ending up losing my sleep and getting almost regular mental breakdowns, even at work. I was in love first but then trapped, scared to break up with her even I had that tummy feeling all the time that I am not being loved back. I don't ever wanna feel like that again. Honestly still after long time ago its painful to look back to those days but writing this all makes me feel kinda relieved.

Also there's some really good points here, people better be taking some notes! hehe ^_^


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#16 Nikki

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Posted 21 December 2016 - 11:03 PM

Thank you for stepping out of the shadow Mir and share your story with us.

 

Before anyone says:

"Everyone tries to ruin my reputation in this game, especially my ex partners so don't listen to their lies or the lies their friends tell you."

 

That argument is invalid :)



#17 Nixxx

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Posted 22 December 2016 - 07:22 AM

and this is why Im not active on forum, we are in a sexgame, supposed to have fun, enjoy ourself, but on here theres mostly drama, and its spreading into the game, I see a good thing in what you are trying to do Nikki, but I really dont see an point.


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#18 Sakuya

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Posted 22 December 2016 - 10:31 AM

I think its the opposite. Drama in game spreading to forum. And thats sad. Very sad.

Not saying names of course, but some people just love to create drama, because thats how they have fun in a game like this. "I'm important! I'm sad! Hug me!"
I've done it ... i realised ... i hate myself for it. But lesson learned.


Also ... this topic is clearly a group vs another now. No point to keep fighting. Unless YOU love this drama, then ... well ... im not your mom so ... go ahead. But im out >.>
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#19 Mirella

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Posted 22 December 2016 - 10:59 AM

I'm not here to pick any sides or blame anyone, just opened up what happened to me because this topic hit pretty close.

I completely agree with you Sakuya. Sometimes it's impossible though if friends are involved and then you should be there to support your friend. Everyone has drama in their lives at some point, it can't be avoided but people who cause and feed from drama are the problem and ruin the fun for everyone else. Best advise is to just stay away from those kind of people, they are loud but still the minority.


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#20 RomanFox

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Posted 22 December 2016 - 01:05 PM

#drama-alert

 

Anyway, let me give my input on the situation:

 

I've been in the situation where I wanted to gift someone purely because I liked them enough to do so. I've paid subscriptions, I've given image slots and I've sent gifts.
You have to realize that there's actually no crimes committed when someone feels that way because of the person they hang out with or speak to.

So, just to make things clear... There's actually no way you could even begin to get someone banned over an issue such as this one...

And purely viewed from a business perspective... this is in fact profitable for the developers... So why go against it?

 

The choice to gift someone, whether they are physical items or digital ones, is completely owned by the person that does it. It's their job to understand the risks and act accordingly.

Now, it's not the first time this type of jealousy crap comes up both in-game and on the forums (In fact.. I was guilty myself once.)... it does make those involved look like a bunch of children.

A relationship doesn't work out, let it go and move on (took me a while to learn that, but it's not impossible). I understand people wish to support their friends but this isn't supportive at all.

If you or your friend has had a breakup inside this game, the best support is to be there for them without keeping the, already difficult and shitty, situation in the spotlights. Most people who endure a breakup want to

forget about it as fast as possible, so as a supportive friend, it's your job to distract them from it instead of bringing it or the people involved back up.

 

Now understand that this message is not specifically pointed towards the OP, nor is it posted to the ones that felt like they were addressed indirectly... I like to keep my posts addressed to the people in general, that go through situations such as this one (which does ultimately include both the OP and the targeted people).

 

I guess, there's a bit of frustration on my part when reading things like this, mainly because the people that clearly state "NO DRAMA" in their profiles, are usually the first to cause it. If drama is really off-limits, then show it and do not interact or get involved. Haha! I just realized I interacted to this post... I'm going against my own advise? o.O No... continue reading and you'll see why!

 

 

 

TL;DR:

- There's not much you can do about this kind of situation, OP. Nor is there anything you can do to request to ban people who have ill-intentions such as the ones you described. My advice is to let it go and continue playing in a way that is enjoying. All you can do is give your friend advise about not spending too much, but that's more or less where it ends.

 

- Drama is always waiting around for a chance to strike, to truly get rid of it... means that you need to learn to let things go when they do not apply to you directly.

A real example of steering clear of drama: I really don't give a damn where this all leads to. I posted my opinion on both angles and that'll be the end of it... I do wish all of you good luck in settling this.

 

 

Edit: This topic, along with a bunch of others on the forums, has actually made me itchy to write a guide-like diary about drama and how to deal with it... sorta, should I do this? 

Edit 2: I just realized the title was kind of like CLICK BAIT!

 

And to everyone else:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  :rolleyes: 


Edited by RomanFox, 22 December 2016 - 01:45 PM.

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