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A life in 3DX: A diary by RomanFox


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#1 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:01 AM

 Thank you for choosing to read this user diary!
 
I know what you're thinking... "A life?"... and yes, it sounded controversial to me as well. Until I realized that, to a lot of players here in 3DX, this is, in fact, a life... albeit a virtual one. And every day, hundreds of us log into the game to proceed with our virtual lives. Ready to take on the challenges it brings and deal with the consequences of the past. For some of us it is a blessing and for some it is hell... yet, to the majority of us, it remains addictive.
 
I've been playing 3DXChat for well over a year now. I can tell you right now; it had many ups and downs for someone that, initially, was really invested in it. To me 3DX has taught me so much when it comes to virtual existence. It thought me that, even though 90% of what is going on is fictional... we are all still human beings with feelings, ideas, rules, fantasies, wishes and desires. And at the end of the day, with a playerbase as big (and still growing) as this one... Someone eventually gets hurt. I’ve been there... many of us have been there... But in the end we all came out stronger. This is my story:
 
Disclaimer: For the sake of privacy, I’ve chosen to exclude the names of players as much as possible. The diary also jumps back and forth between specific times and thus isn’t completely chronological. I’ve also decided that I would refer to my female character in third person... Mostly because of the change in personality between then and now. Italic text is simply my input on the situation from todays point of view.
 
The arrival of JessyDesire
When I first started playing, I started as a male character... I had a feeling, and I was soon proven correct, that a lot of the female players were not going to be eager to talk... I had never been in this game before... But it reminded me of the old-school chatrooms back in the day. It reminded me of IMVU and how women were often dealing with primitive approaches from men and how that would ultimately lead to women being more restrained, reserved... It was sad and quite frankly, it was boring...
After many attempts speaking with both men and women here... I had created a small theory; due to the majority of men, who would approach women here in a rather untactful way... both male and female players alike were suffering from it and, for some wicked reason, I wanted to try and change that. The game was no longer a platform for virtual interactive sex. It was a social platform aswell... and it contained a lot of jaded people. I can be harsh and stubborn at times... but at heart, I always want to try and help... I always want to give things a chance...
I wanted to give both men and women the opportunity to initiate regular conversations without the fear of a premature rejection based on past events. Many people were being pushed away before someone actually got to know them... It felt shitty and I wanted something different.
 
It was then that I decided to create a female character... My goal wasn’t to have sex with countless people, and for those who know me since my beginner days... they would confirm that. The choice for a female character was easy... the female population here was less discriminated. 
 
JessyDesire initially started as a shy, slightly naive but extremely cheerful girl. She had a background, a name and no real clue of why she had joined this game. I figured that I needed all of this in order to be approachable and realistic. Back then, her appearance was notable and striking... Using bright colors as a means to stand out from the crowd. Her two favorite colors... Pinkish-Red and Yellowish-Green. It didn’t take long before her main outfit was referred to by others as “The watermelon outfit”, which became her signature appearance.
 
JessyDesire originally started of hanging around the beach and dancing around Fresco Club most of of the time. The usual chit-chat, here and there, from people attempting to lure her into their apartments... Usually remained unanswered. Unless their initial approach seemed more constructed and thought-through.. In which case, she would answer enthusiastically.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that JessyDesire was a character that people could easily talk to. She was a character that people liked because she didn’t judge, ignore or act cold towards people. She was warm, caring and understanding... and she was adored for it.
At this point, I didn’t think about possible consequences... I was enjoying myself and people were enjoying my company.
But the clues were clearly there, yet unseen. People began to develop feelings for her... But JessyDesire wasn’t a girl that would easily be convinced to sleep around. It took quite a bit of social interaction and a strong foundation of “friendship” before the option was available.
The majority of the time I spent playing this game was under the name of “JessyDesire” and throughout this time... I had only spent intimate moments with a handful of people...
It didn’t take long for her to be introduced into a group of friends by a person she had met at the beach... She initiated conversation with a girl sitting near the water that had the cutest look... purple-lilac colored hair, cute and slightly revealing in terms of clothing... We talked and ended up becoming close friends. She eventually introduced JessyDesire to a group of friends she would often spend time with... From that point onward... things were going to become slightly more difficult for JessyDesire.
 
Fastforwarding just a tiny bit...
JessyDesire had managed to gather a gigantic friends list with close to 200 names.
She was popular, mostly because she was so easy to approach and talk to. By this time, she had tried maybe one or two relationships within the game. They didn’t last long, because her priority wasn’t within the relationship itself... but to hanging out around her friends, streaming music, etc... Little did she know, multiple people within her closer group of friends had developed feelings for her. It only hit her when she ended up, subconsciously, having to choose.
I wanted to fit in and establish a virtual relationship, enjoy that side of the game while continuing with everything else. I had spent so much time in the game and technically never experienced the more intimate side of it... well... other than the occasional cuddle and kissing.
I had picked up on the fact that, in order to maintain the peace, I would have to make sure JessyDesire wasn’t single. The choice was simple... my best friend within the game.
It obviously upset a bunch of people... JessyDesire’s kind and cheerful personality had been mistaken for flirting by a lot of people. So to some, it was a kick in the face when she ended up in a relationship with that cute purple haired girl from the beach.
 
The downfall of JessyDesire
While I was playing JessyDesire, I had the best of intentions... ultimately, I had put myself in an awkward position. I began to struggle with contradicting feelings and honestly... a bit of an identity crisis. And with every choice, no matter how good the intentions, I was digging deeper and deeper.
 
I had attempted a few more relationships after I had broken up with the purple haired girl from the beach... Each getting more and more real in terms of feelings. My latest relationship was by far the most passionate one as JessyDesire. A German girl that had been through a lot of issues within her relationship in the game. We talked more and more and it wasn’t that much of a secret that we liked eachother... but we didn’t really know what the other person felt, considering I was trying to help her fix her relationship with someone else. It was only a while later, when that German girl had permanently broken up with her partner and I had gone through a pretty tough breakup myself... the girl was now JessyDesire’s closest friend. We talked and cuddled daily... but up until then... all of it remained friendship.
 
The group of friends had gone through some tough times... people revealing their true genders and ultimately splitting up and/or disappearing. JessyDesire maintained as much contact with these people as she could. Providing a listening ear and, at the same time, attempting to enjoy the game. She was known for the helpful girl that would go out of her way trying to fix things. Broken relationships, false identities, helping with people’s insecurities... it was part of her daily life on 3DX and back then... it didn’t bother her, because the gratefulness was clearly visible and it was so fulfilling.
As time passed she met tons of people... some stayed and some went. One of these people was a rather mysterious girl... She kind of came out of nowhere and caught the attention of most other girls in the group. At the time, JessyDesire was in a relationship that would ultimately break her... She had met a girl that would spend her time sitting alone in the corner of the room and when spoken to, behaved extremely shy. It’s no secret that this was kind of alluring. I felt the need to try and get this girl to open up so she could enjoy the game. It was another great opportunity to develop a good friendship.
As time progressed... The shy girl did in fact grow more open and obviously it brought both of them together. But time revealed that beneath this shy and vulnerable exterior... the shy girl hid fantasies too dark and too harsh for JessyDesire.
 
It was difficult to accept that the sweetness and innocence of this girl began to make room for desires that, to me, were too extreme. I was struggling with the fact that the more time I spent with her... the more of this side was revealing and the more she felt like a stranger to me... It’s difficult to handle such feelings and emotions accompanied by the logical understanding that this was my virtual girlfriend. I was experiencing contradicting emotions... and they showed. I had attempted to meet these desires, but they weren’t in my nature and it was hurtful to experience this sense of failure. Things were about to get worse and I wasn’t prepared nor capable of handling the gathering of multiple consequences.
 
Although this relationship was clearly dealing with issues, it was no doubt that, by the looks of it, we both still liked eachother too much to just break up. We ended up making choices that seemed the right ones, but I was soon proven wrong. At the same time... I was already struggling with the realization that what I was doing was dangerous. People were falling in love with this fictional girl I had created... I wanted to prevent further escalation of problems by not allowing people to get too close, while at the same time struggling with feelings of my own... It ended up becoming a mixture of both... a cocktail of drama in the making that I would later get to drink.
 
By this time... JessyDesire was no longer the girl she was. Externally, she acted and behaved similar... but inside... It was me and my pile of contradicting emotions and no actual solutions to solve the issues I was having. There were times I just wished I wasn’t this guy playing this fictional girl.. I wanted it to be real just to make things simple again. I had created a virtual life so complex and with such a big foundation... I couldn’t just disappear, but I couldn’t stick around as well. At that time, I was so confused but I held on to the fact that so many people were leaning on me and I couldn’t just abandon them.
 
The shy girl and I decided that maybe, for her desires to be met, we should opt for an open relationship. It would allow her to find someone that was able to meet her fantasies. Little did I know I was going to experience the worst case of jealousy I’ve ever felt.
This mysterious girl had joined our regular group of friends. She was a mixture of caring and dominance. A lot of people looked up to her, including me... this girl had clearly figured it all out. Along with everyone else... I flocked around her, intrigued and desperate to figure out her secret on how to deal with this game. At the same time... I had noticed that the shy girl was getting increasingly closer to her... It hit me hard to realize that this person was able to meet my so-called girlfriend’s needs and I couldn’t. And, since this little group of people began to regularly interact with eachother on a more intimate and sexual level... It was clear to me when they were experiencing said fantasies. I reached a point where I emotionally broke down... I was already dealing with the contradicting feelings/emotions.. and now this had begun... becoming the droplet that would flood the bucket. I became unstable..
 
I began to push people away one day, then trying to get close to them the other. I turned to the German girl for comfort... and as always she provided it perfectly. She always managed to help me settle down when I was struggling and this time was no different. She provided the perfect distraction from everything I was going through... we both knew that.
But as soon as she would be unavailable... I would fall right back into that pool of confusion and create drama all around me... I had become a drama queen/king.
 
This situation went on for a long time to come, only making me more and more unstable.
But there was something waiting... The German girl and I became closer and closer. Allowing me to ultimately let go of this jealousy and try and put it behind me. I had decided to fully ignore both the mysterious and dominant girl and the shy one in an attempt to let go of it all... allowing myself to not get confronted with it daily when I noticed them together in public places... I was now able to focus on what seemed to be my way out of this pit.
 
As we talked more and more, it became apparent that we both had this attraction towards eachother for some time now... and it was heaven in comparison to what I had just been through... We began spending days in solitude... only spending time with eachother and ignoring everything else. This feeling was completely overruling the negative experiences I was dealing with and this continued for quite some time.
And then... I hit that same realization again... She had fallen in love with JessyDesire... Who was a fictional girl. It hit me hard... I had these feelings, but I would never be able to truly tell her who I was... I feared it would break her and to me that was unacceptable... I was seeing this girl smile, laugh and have such a great time... and I was too. I couldn’t just destroy that, but I couldn’t continue with it either... It was eventually going to lead into a painful situation. I had to find a way that would allow me to keep friends with this person instead of building up more and more feelings towards eachother. We ended up discussing what kind of relationship we wanted this to be... and I just couldn’t pick. On one end... I liked her too much and I couldn’t handle open relationships well, as proven in the past... On the other end... if I wanted to save both her and myself from a lot of pain... I would have to let go of the idea and pick either an open relationship or break it up entirely.
 
It was shitty... I fell right back into this zone of confusion and with the amount of complex relationships (friendships) I had built... Every option seemed both wrong and right at the same time... I froze.
I fell back into the habit of pushing people away one day and pulling them closer the other...
But at this point I was beginning to realize it more and more... I had to man up and put a stop to this... but how? I had no clue and in the meanwhile I just kept stacking up mistakes.
In the end... I got approached by the shy girl once more... our conversations brought back some old feelings and it led from one thing to another... And I can’t say that was the only person I was intimate with that day.To be honest... I have no fucking idea what I was thinking that day... but I realized I had cheated on my partner, the German girl. It was then I decided all of this had to end... it had to stop RIGHT that second.
I decided I didn’t want to continue this life of lies and secrets... I had to tell this German girl who I really was... the guy behind JessyDesire... I realized it was a make or break situation... but it had to be done... In my mind it was the solution that would prevent more pain for any of us. We sat down and I began to reveal my true identity... obviously it shocked her... it hit her hard and it was clearly visible. I can’t say I didn’t expect it when she said she needed some distance to think about it before we continued talking and/or making any further decisions.
I figured she had enough on her plate right now, so I would let her think things through...
But... and this is where true “karma” believers scream victory... During her distance, she had heard about my encounter with the shy girl... and of course, the situation was molded just perfectly in my disadvantage... my attempt to be honest was undermined and it looked like I was never going to tell her about the encounter... I realized the severity of the situation... there was no point in trying to defend myself when everything looked exactly the opposite. Her message was clear... I had to leave her alone and I understood. I put up one last attempt of explaining everything through an instant messaging platform outside the game... but my words were meaningless. It was over...
 
I decided I would remove JessyDesire and quit the game... I had had enough of the drama I was creating and the drama I got myself in... and it was taking its toll on my emotional well-being and that of others. I clicked the garbage bin icon... and typed “JessyDesire”.
 
OK, I PROMISE THINGS GET BETTER FROM HERE ON OUT.
I had to take the break... I needed to fix my head and keep myself busy with things, but playing this game for such a long time and removing it... it felt weird... It’s clear that 3DX can have an addictive effect and it certainly did on me. But I realized I had taken things too seriously... I had practically turned this into something more important than my real life... I wasn’t completely through my emotional distress but I was starting to see things more clearly.
 
I ultimately came back... in male form... I had created RomanFox a name picked by one of the people that chose to stick with me even though I probably didn’t deserve it at all. But nonetheless... I am still grateful for it.
 
The more I continued playing the game as Fox... The more clear things started becoming... It might be weird to describe it in the way that I’m going to, but whatever...
You might want to compare it to the scene were Neo became “The One” in the movie called “The Matrix”. He stands up... and suddenly everything has become lines of code... and you can clearly see he acquired a sudden understanding for everything within the matrix.
 
Not only did it allow me to get rid of this identity crisis, it allowed me to see things from a different perspective and, even though I still believe what I did was wrong... It helped me give it a place. I wasn’t the only one that had done things like this... in fact... this virtual world was filled with people just like it.
Some of you know me as a person that can have a silly and good time... and some of you know me as the one that got up and got in your face.
And no matter which one of the two you are... I can tell you right now, I don’t judge... I’ve been there and for some reason it allows me to understand. It doesn’t mean I can’t try and prevent people from making these mistakes or taking things too far or too serious the way I did.
 
As RomanFox, I decided to play the game being me... that meant I wouldn’t turn away from a challenge, I wouldn’t back down and I would make sure that whenever, whatever... I’d make sure my point comes across when it needs to. But most of all... I decided that drama wasn’t going to affect me as greatly as it once did. And I can honestly say that it doesn’t... sure, I’ll get involved in drama every once in a while... I’ll give my input and sometimes, sorry, laugh at it. But the days where I would lose sleep and ponder hours on end... are over.
I think that most people that know me nowadays can confirm that very statement with ease...
 
And to top it all off... and to get back at you “Karma” believers who cheered earlier... I think that “Karma” rewarded me for making this change and for applying my past experiences in a beneficial way to both others and myself. During the months that I’ve been playing as RomanFox... I’ve met this truly amazing girl... and after spending all these months together, we’ve managed to make it into something real and physical... our relationship grew past the boundaries of 3DXChat and became a real life thing... We’re able to physically hold eachother and things couldn’t be better...
 
Concluding chapter... (FINALLY!!)
All of this concludes to one thing... we’ve all did some crazy things at some point in our 3DX existence and I believe that everyone can overcome them with enough effort and some good luck. Sometimes, no matter how good your intentions are... some things are just better left untouched and when you decide to live a virtual life that is different than your own... There is a possibility that it could get confusing and escalate. I’m not saying it’s bound to happen... some people are clearly more capable of maintaining roleplay. But the thing that comes back the most is how people on 3DX get hurt because things were never really clear. So to those who survived reading through all of this... take my advice when I tell you to always make it absolutely clear to your partner where you wish things to go... and don’t put yourself in awkward situations... obviously xD.
 
Although I’m now able to play the game in a way that is fun (with the occasional frustration and confrontation)... I do feel a different person when it comes to emotional connections. I’m able to see through a lot of disguises, I’m able to let go and cut ties when needed and I’m able to remain unaffected by drama that plays around me. As mentioned before... I tend to mix in them sometimes when needed, but I go in knowing there’s nothing that can be done to harm me... I realize this is a virtual game and the way I see it is that the only real thing in it is my girlfriend and myself. I initially show respect and behave in a friendly matter to anyone that approaches me... But all that goes away if I suspect incoming drama or bad intentions.
 
 
I would like to thank all of you that finished through reading this user diary... It’s a long wall of text, I agree! But, it gives a bit of an insight to how things can go, even in a virtual world. It can be a fun place, and sometimes it can be hell... but in the end... it comes down to who you are and what you do... 
Please note that I’m fully aware that there might be missing parts or details... They have not been left out on purpose and when pointed out... i’ll gladly add them.
 
PS: Somewhere along all of this... I got trolled pretty hard by “Virl”. xD
PPS: In time, additional entries can be made to this post.
PPPS: Not everything I did as JessyDesire was all that bad, I like to take pride in indirectly contributing in groups such as the fun-loving "Diggy Diggy Hole community". For JessyDesire was the first one to stream Yogscast's "Diggy Diggy Hole" soundtrack in a public setting... although a lot its gained popularity in 3DX is credited to Sigara... for overly cheerfully singing the lyrics days on end to a point where half of 3DX began to shiver to the sounds of the drums that play during the intro of the soundtrack.

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#2 Sakuya

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:19 AM

(...)

Im sorry.

EDIT: Dont kill me >.<
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#3 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:22 AM

Okay o.O?



#4 Domonique

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:33 AM

People should take into consideration that this is his point of view and should respect that. He's put himself out there, owning up to mistakes that he has made and is showing he has learnt from them. He is setting an example for some people in the community.


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#5 RobT

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 12:44 AM

A diary isnt a true diary until its been trolled once so congrats, took one post.

 

cheers-to-manufacturing.jpg


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#6 Sakuya

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:00 AM

Okay o.O?


Sorry!

*hides*

Anyway ... i have no problem saying here you the only person i really had true feelings with. More when you told me your real you.
So ... uhm ... i dont know what to say ... i suck at this cute speeches with emotions and all that but ... hope you happy and best wishes on the future ...

... yeah.

EDIT: I hate my english >.<

OH ONE LAST THING ... Thank you :)
After all this i decided to play as myself too (yes Fox, every one close to me knows my real me now) and i agree with you .. playing as your trueself is amazing. No fears, no doubts. Play as a girl or whatever ... but be real with your friends. Thats a good lesson i learned from all this "drama" we had.

Yeah ... thank you ^.^

#7 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:13 AM

Yeah sorry i didnt read all i guess <.<

 

*hides*

 

Anyway ... i have no problem saying here you the only person i really had true feelings with. More when i knew your real person.

So ... uhm ... i dont know what to say ... i suck at this cute speeches with emotions and all that but ... hope you happy and best wishes on the future ...

 

... yeah.

 

EDIT: I hate my english >.<

 

No worries! And your english is good enough to get your point across! So kudos to you!



#8 Matrix

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 02:49 AM

People should take into consideration that this is his point of view and should respect that. He's put himself out there, owning up to mistakes that he has made and is showing he has learnt from them. He is setting an example for some people in the community.

 

Really, fine example. What about all the people he hurt and misled all while wearing a mask in the guise of a doing good.



#9 Kuru

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 03:03 AM

     A very profound read indeed, good sir. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of literacy that illuminates a very common thing that happens not just on 3DX but every area of the internet that involves chat and screen names. It does take courage to become the light out of darkness to bare all and for that I do admire your virtue in this regard. However, it seems that this one entry sums up your whole life from the first day you started until now. It will be interesting to see what else lies ahead for you while here on 3DX. Do continue this magnificent art work with words. It was quite revealing in making sense of the behavior with certain female avatars. To know that you may not be dealing with an actual woman makes things a bit timid for us men yet also teaches a lesson in what virtual worlds cater to above all else, role play.

    In closing, I'll say you were pretty good at role playing but there is a possible truth. Those women whom you were among were probably men just like you. But you were the courageous one to realize the deeper value in honesty. So it is only right that in doing so you were rewarded with a splendid love situation gathered from 3DX that is now an offline reality to where you are not only experiencing virtual sex, love, and intimacy but actual sex, love, and intimacy as well with the very woman you met here in spite of the drama you created for yourself as JessyDesire. It is a friendly karma indeed. Jessy finally got what she truly desired.



#10 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 09:22 AM

Really, fine example. What about all the people he hurt and misled all while wearing a mask in the guise of a doing good.

 

The example she is referring to is the fact that I realized that what I was doing was hurting and misleading people, which was something I wasn't fully aware of at the time itself. To this day, there are still countless people that portray themselves as female characters when in reality that is not the case... but in all honesty, I don't believe it's a bad thing... It is, however, a bad thing when they become sloppy in handling people's feelings the way I did as JessyDesire near the end of her existence.

 

Most people here claim they come here for nothing but a virtual life away from reality. A way to distract themselves, explore their fantasies and learn those of others. A majority of those people claim fictional lives in a roleplaying fashion (vampires, furries, demons, angels, etc...). I still believe that to those people, it shouldn't matter whether or not their partner is real, as long as both parties are clear about their motives and wishes towards eachother... I've encountered people not so long ago who mentioned that they didn't care at all whether or not their virtual partner was female in real life... their partner was giving them the things they desired and for them that was all they needed.

 

Originally, as JessyDesire, I wasn't intending to get involved with real feelings from or to others. I knew from the start that could prove tricky and I'd be fooling not only those people, but myself as well. She was initially intended to provide a good and amusing talk to everyone.... not discriminating people and not acting out towards them because of a past that jaded her. It was only when I was no longer capable of keep reality in check that things began to cause trouble. I see now that in the end, I may have added to the reason why people behave in such a refrained and distrusting way... but for months on end, JessyDesire, was in fact a delightful acquintance for a lot of people. So yeah... I messed up, but I take two things from this in any case: 1. The experience in seeing this virtual world from that point of view. 2. I did in fact allow people to enjoy their time just that slightly bit more as long as I had things straight.. In this case, ignorance can be a bliss... I won't justify the things I did near the end, because they were wrong... but I do know that not all of it is as "evil" as it can look.

 

I believe, she refers to the example of me putting myself out here and admitting to my mistakes, willing to explain the things I did and the original reasons behind them. I believe the example she refers to is the fact that I do in fact admit to all of it... while there might be people out there that haven't and/or won't. Some may even have gone a slight bit further in terms of "hurting and misleading"... But I'm not here to judge, I'm here to point out to people to be careful and to be smart. Accepting that your partner could, in fact, be of the opposite gender in reality, can help to increase your enjoyment in this game... unless it really bothers you, in which case you should talk to your partner and solve the issue at hand.

 

As much as I understand that this topic is a controversial one... as much as I understand some people might become enraged of the idea (especially those who have been hurt by similar activities). There are also those who understand or are willing to... but in the end, we all made our mistakes and we're supposed to deal with the consequences.
I say to those that wish to try and kick people such as myself, who regret their actions in the past and have taken a turn for the better, down to the curb:

 

"he who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

Thank you for your input.



#11 AnyNameWillDo

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:18 PM

Really, fine example. What about all the people he hurt and misled all while wearing a mask in the guise of a doing good.

What about other people who have done similar and never fronted up? Respect to Fox for writing this...


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#12 AnyNameWillDo

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:25 PM

I take from this, ultimately it's not possible to feel as hurt or vulnerable residing in this virtual world behind a mask, but equally it's impossible to feel as engaged or fulfilled. The benefit of the former is eventually outweighed by the latter. I know Fox well. He's a good man so I presume Jessy was a good person too. It just better this way, I feel.

 

Let's put it this way. Fox met and fell for Dom and that wouldn't have happened without his epiphany. So, decision vindicated... :)



#13 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 01:43 PM

What about other people who have done similar and never fronted up? Respect to Fox for writing this...

 

 

I take from this, ultimately it's not possible to feel as hurt or vulnerable residing in this virtual world behind a mask, but equally it's impossible to feel as engaged or fulfilled. The benefit of the former is eventually outweighed by the latter. I know Fox well. He's a good man so I presume Jessy was a good person too. It just better this way, I feel.

 

Let's put it this way. Fox met and fell for Dom and that wouldn't have happened without his epiphany. So, decision vindicated... :)

 

Thanks for the support, Will :P



#14 Matrix

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 02:46 PM

RomanFox, you write very well. I'll give you that.

How truthful is your story (how much sugar coating it contains) we will never know; however, you should be commended for making us aware of what you did and for admitting your mistakes.

This is a silly analogy, but you committed the crime without doing the time. In the end you are rewarded, lucky you.

Perhaps coming clean is a way of paying for the debt you owe the 3DX community. I hope you are personally apologizing to the people you hurt.

America certainly loves giving wrong doers that come clean a second chance - even idolizing them in the end.

So I will stop throwing my stone. Not because I have sinned, because in the end I believe you are moving forward doing good vs. bad which can only benefit the community.



#15 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 03:02 PM

RomanFox, you write very well. I'll give you that.

How truthful is your story (how much sugar coating it contains) we well never know; however, you should be commended for making us aware of what you did and for admitting your mistakes.

This is a silly analogy, but you committed the crime without doing the time. In the end you are rewarded, lucky you.

Perhaps coming clean is a way of paying for the debt you owe the 3DX community. I hope you are personally apologizing to the people you hurt.

America certainly loves giving wrong doers that come clean a second change - even idolizing them in the end.

So I will stop throwing my stone. Not because I have not sinned, because in the end I believe you are moving forward doing good vs. bad which can only benefit the community.

 

Thank you. The intent of my post is not to sugarcoat what it contains... I would have been better of not writing about it at all. It's mostly an urge I had after reading so many user diaries, I figured the best way was to write about my past experiences. It may not look like that, but I did do my time.... reading it in this compact way may make it look like I didn't... but having to deal with the emotional aftermath of it all was definitely not something I'd wish on anybody.

 

In regards to the truthfulness of the story... I wrote down how things happened and felt from my point of view with input from today's standpoint. Looking back on it, it feels rediculous that I've gotten myself into that kind of situation and pulled in others along the way...

This entire essay goes back to over a year... so sure, there might be details missing... but I'm clearly not putting any blame on other people, so it's not really that much of a difference in the end. Of course, as I mentioned earlier... I plan on editing and adding as I recall certain things.

 

Thanks again for your input.



#16 Athene

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:05 PM

*waves*

 

Hi! Never spoken to you before but have seen you around. I had my morning cheerios while reading this and.. I must say, I'm very intrigued by your story and I'm ultimately happy that things worked out for you. I've had my fair share of drama on this game as well, I've seen the same things amongst friends and sometimes it truly does come across as a shock... But I guess in my ~3 years of playing this game, I've personally come to seeing this game for what it is: a game. And I really wish others would too... But as you said, we all get lost in the drama her sometimes, heh...

 

Anyway!! Glad things worked out for you and I hope whatever spurred you to write this isn't another case of drama. :)

 

♥Athene


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#17 RomanFox

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 06:18 PM

*waves*

 

Hi! Never spoken to you before but have seen you around. I had my morning cheerios while reading this and.. I must say, I'm very intrigued by your story and I'm ultimately happy that things worked out for you. I've had my fair share of drama on this game as well, I've seen the same things amongst friends and sometimes it truly does come across as a shock... But I guess in my ~3 years of playing this game, I've personally come to seeing this game for what it is: a game. And I really wish others would too... But as you said, we all get lost in the drama her sometimes, heh...

 

Anyway!! Glad things worked out for you and I hope whatever spurred you to write this isn't another case of drama. :)

 

♥Athene

 

Hey there :)

 

Thanks for responding to it. I'll tell you right now It's not another case of drama. I'm not entirely sure how to put in words the reasons that ended up wanting me to write this. I guess it's a bit of everything... The fact that others wrote their stories has had a bit of an influence, the fact that I wanted to put it out there for some to read... some people look at me now thinking I have it all figured out, and maybe I do... maybe I don't, but it might be helpful to others to read what some have gone through to get to where they are today.

 

The weird thing about it is that I too considered this to be just a game... however, building up friendships, especially if they lead to some kind of intimacy... whether it is sharing more personal secrets or interacting with eachother in a sexual way... it can build up into something that gets you way more invested than you initially intended to... I've seen it happen to the coldest of people around here... So, unless you've got an iron will (or had one too many problems in the past), it could even get the best of you.

 

Feel free to say Hi next time ;)

Thanks for your input!


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#18 RobT

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 08:19 PM

ahhh, the dreaded "its a game" response. I so love when people use this. sadly its used by most who get caught being a douche and look for a way to explain why. If its just a game then play it as just a game, Not look to exploit and purposely set out to mind fuck just about every person you come in contact with. I love when people set out to deceive someone they claim to care about and then hide behind the banner of "its a game",   good times.

 

*this wasnt directed towards anyone posting in this thread, just the whole "its a game" premise*


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#19 Sakuya

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 09:05 PM

ahhh, the dreaded "its a game" response. I so love when people use this. sadly its used by most who get caught being a douche and look for a way to explain why. If its just a game then play it as just a game, Not look for exploit and purposely set out to mind fuck just about every person you come in contact with. I love when people set out to deceive someone they claim to care about and then hide behind the banner of "its a game",   good times.
 
*this wasnt directed towards anyone posting in this thread, just the whole "its a game" premise*


I will create more forum accs to like this post.
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#20 RobT

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 09:05 PM

I will create more forum accs to like this post.

lmfao




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