What can us guys do

[Spikealot]

what can us guys do 

Ok the question I have for all of you gals is

What can we do to peek your interest enough to have more than a five minute chat with us.

Ok heres what I do I see a nice young lady sitting at the beach she appears to be by herself I walk up and say "nice beach mind if I sit here? " sound of crickets " ok she's afk or talking with someone " more cricket sounds " I say " that's cool have fun" then she gets up and walks away without a word I'm thinking what did I say, do I have bad breath or my cloth dirty it must be that one of my shoe's was untied that's gotta be it.

This kind of thing happens a lot and yes there are a greater number of men than women.  I get that. This is how I see it there's a big apple tree and all the men are big red juicy apples and a few rotten ones a young lady comes by and picks a few interesting ones and takes them home and is very content and the rest of the apples wither and die all I'm saying is ladies talk to more apples eat more apples you might miss the apple with the golden heart and besides apples are good for you.

I'm not asking why this happens I'm asking

What can we do to peek your interest

 

[brun]

I think one thing that people, not just men, need to understand, especially in the context of playing this game is pretty simple. Just because another person is sitting alone, dancing by themselves, is wearing something that sends your boner to the moon, etc... doesn't mean that they are obligated to talk to anyone else. 

 

There is no personal affront happening if someone doesn't find you to to be someone they wish to have a conversation - or more - with. 

[Sollyz]

It's not very hard to start a conversation with a female mate. Introduce yourself, ask them how their days is and then ask them for a dance. It's all about being kind, respectful and sweet, if you show how much of a gentleman you can be and let them know you're mature and not just looking for sex then mate, you'll get any female you desire. Good luck mate.

 

 

Confidence is the key.

[Sage Stoner]

Although I can claim a certain amount of expertise on both sides of this issue (lol), let me just make a couple of general observations.

 

Although we often speak of the 3DX "community," there are actually multiple communities coexisting side by side. Some people move easily between two or more communities and some stay within a single community. But most people provide in their profile some at least marginally useful information about which community they identify with.

 

So the first thing you need to do before you speak to or even walk up to another player is to read his or her profile, and it's important, I feel, to read as many profiles as you can to get a real feel for how diverse the communities are. So, for example, if you are a man, there is nothing you can to do interest a person who is only interested in women. And sometimes the most useful thing you will learn is that you don't share a common language with that person, in which case there is no way you can communicate with them unless they are willing to accept cold invites.

 

But there are some players who are perfectly fine with cold invites, and who say so in their profile. If you are interested, cold invite them.

 

And there are some players who absolutely want to chat before they even consider doing more, and who say so in their profile. If you are interested, chat with them.

 

Oh, and another thing I can recommend is to create a presence on this forum. I have made a lot of friends with people who liked something I wrote here. So, in that respect, you are already on the right track. Be patient. Most of the women that I know here won't be shy about letting you know they are interested, once they feel that you share a common interest and that you are showing them respect.

[Spikealot]

I understand that nobody has any obligations to do anything here that's not I was asking.

some people think this is just a sex game with really good graphics I look at as a social network with an adult theme

or a chat room with benefits what do you do in a chat room you talk to people

I will admit that I'm not much of post writer and I may have done a poor job asking my question it was not meant to be how do we get into your bed post

 I should have made it a request to just get out there and talk to more people and expand your circle of friends

and now I have just shot myself in the foot 

[Freya]

No you did not shot yourself in the foot. I think you expressed your idea and question very well.

 

I agree. Both men and women should talk more then they do...but then again everyone of us are different. There are already established groups here and I can totally understand how a recently joined person can struggle to fit in because I was there myself. Couple of days I just observed and could not talk nobody I was so shy.

 

But keep talking to different people and do not take it personally when some just ignore you. Everyone gets that time to time. There are really nice people in this game and if you keep trying you should find that one (or ones) you are seeking for.

 

As for what peeks our interest....there is no formula to this. Just be yourself and talk

[chris87_au]

All you can do is try and try again, learn from each experience and then the next time add to it. Don't use pick up lines, introduce yourself by saying hi and where are you from (even if it says in their profile - at least they have to answer). Look at their profile as a source of conversation topics if they write anything interesting. If they don't respond don't take it personal and move on. Chances are they weren't interesting enough to talk to in the first place.

[Tanyatranny]

I don't think you did anything wrong, although I do tend to get annoyed when guys pull the "I was nice to you and talked and all so now you should have sex with me" card.

 

Some things to consider:

- maybe you girl didn't speak English well. There are lots of users with a Russian or French background here.

- maybe your avatar just wasn't her type

- maybe she just had sex or wanted some rest

 

And of course she may just have been a rude bitch. Just as with the men I'm sure there are some rotten apples amongst us (trans)women.

 

You are right in seeing this as a social game with an adult theme. Next time you're on and see me I'd be more than happy to oblige you and have a chat.

[Sollyz]

"if you are a man, there is nothing you can to do interest a person who is only interested in women. And sometimes the most useful thing you will learn is that you don't share a common language with that person, in which case there is no way you can communicate with them unless they are willing to accept cold invites."

 

I will have to state out that I completely disagree with this Sage, there are many women on this chat that I have made great friendships with Rochi, Sallyblue to just name a few that are only interested in women and have come to know I am a decent mature man with only friendship in mind, granted yes if you are abrupt and don't respect that persons wishes then yes by all means don't even bother, but to straight out say don't bother isn't only wrong it's sexist. 

 

Also you can be sure that if a female only has one intention in mind upon speaking to me without the effort of stimulating my mind first, she best not bother, because neither a friendship or any sort of sexual fun will come of it. 

 

[Sage Stoner]

I will have to state out that I completely disagree with this Sage

 

Whatever. I didn't say "women who are only interested in women," I said "a person who is only interested in women"  and I was referring specifically to sexual orientation, not talking about friendships in general. So if you want to take what I said completely out of context, sure, it can be misinterpreted anyway you like. Good luck with that. 

[RodolfoValentino]

Well im pretty noob here so i cannot give you any good advice. I don't even feel like giving you advices on how to approach women, im sure you are awesome with that, so just be yourself and keep trying. Think positive, dont feel like a hunter, things are gonna happen. we all are here almost for the same reason.

 

by the way, add me as friend if you see me online..we could jerk off together watching a porn :-P lool

[chris87_au]

Ok now I understand and why you guys are having troubles it's not just who you're going after but also it's your attitude...

 

Your mental game is important if want to be good at the talking game. I.e stop setting yourself up for failure by going in with a negative attitude to begin with. Though I don't believe this "be confident" crap every wannabe Casanova will tell you will work everytime. Be brave yes but don't pretend to be confident. It doesn't work for all guys as we all have different personalities. Chances are if you aren't confident a woman will see right through it and you've already failed by showing her you're not being yourself.

 

The harsh reality is it's also all about numbers in courting, you will not find someone you connect with straight away, either it be a friend or lover. You need to meet many different ones to find "the" one.

 

My advice is to join in on local chat and mingle that way, say hello to everyone. You're presence will be known and people will start to recognise you. Once they do you will feel comfortable (don't have to be confident) to start private messaging any females that respond to your local chat and you have a conversation starter right there. Just be involved in what's going on in the area, it should be a social game first after all then comes a friendship/ relationship/ sex.

[Freya]

Trying to be "Alpha" or "Casanova" or anything shows that you have a giant ego... This turns me off behind belief to be honest. Men can be cute and caring too, in fact there are some men in this game who are absolutely adorable!!

 

I would rather be friends of those and jump into bed with them if we get there, instead of a egoistic bully who makes me feel weird and uncomfortable with...primitive acts?

 

Make me feel comfy by you. Relax and talk to me without your ego talking. We will be best friends and perhaps with benefits too!

 

I just wanted to give an example of what interests me and what's not when it comes to personality. Every one of us have different preferences and that is beautiful. So talk, talk, talk and talk. You will find "the" one or ones I am sure. It takes time and patience, that's natural.

[OpalShadow]

.. Just be yourself and talk

 

 

Though I don't believe this "be confident" crap every wannabe Casanova will tell you will work everytime. Be brave yes but don't pretend to be confident. It doesn't work for all guys as we all have different personalities. Chances are if you aren't confident a woman will see right through it and you've already failed by showing her you're not being yourself.

 

 

Make me feel comfy by you. 

 

 

I agree completely with you two.

 

Spikealot, be yourself and never presume to know what a girl 'wants".

[WadeB]

A lot of good advice already mentioned here. The only thing i will add is not to be discouraged. Failure and success are equals in the heat of the moment, just different in the benefits they provide.

 

 

If you knew the outcome already, you wouldn't enjoy the surprise.

[Cheyenne]

Hey there i'd like to dedicate my first post on here to the cause, as much great advice has been given here already it is not just about you, we woman have to give guys the chance to become that special someone that catches our interest,

it is also a mindset thing or metaphorically speaking "Frog kissing" in being open and appreciating any form of contact if it does cover certain basics.

 

I believe a touch of respectfulness comes without saying and profile reading natural, non ? "Hello, how are you ?" for example might not be the most terrific pick-up line compared to something out of the ordinary and a well worked out profile may outdo a simple one liner but most importantly, it takes two to cultivate a conversation. You may just say it took all your courage to approach her, it shows genuine honesty and is considered quite cute by many of us.

 

Personally, eloquence, authenticity, wit & humor are the splash of color that attract me quite a bit. So bottom line ... like it has been mentioned already, don't let your head dangle, be authentic and come as you are, everyone else is taken anyway!

 

Now go and get them, tiger 

 

 

Just one more thing, beware of rodolfo, he wears pink 

Edited June 1, 2014 by Cheyenne

[Spikealot]

Hey there i'd like to dedicate my first post on here to the cause, as much great advice has been given here already it is not just about you, we woman have to give guys the chance to become that special someone that catches our interest,

it is also a mindset thing or metaphorically speaking "Frog kissing" in being open and appreciating any form of contact if it does cover certain basics.

 

I believe a touch of respectfulness comes without saying and profile reading natural, non ? "Hello, how are you ?" for example might not be the most terrific pick-up line compared to something out of the ordinary and a well worked out profile may outdo a simple one liner but most importantly, it takes two to cultivate a conversation. You may just say it took all your courage to approach her, it shows genuine honesty and is considered quite cute by many of us.

 

Personally, eloquence, authenticity, wit & humor are the splash of color that attract me quite a bit. So bottom line ... like it has been mentioned already, don't let your head dangle, be authentic and come as you are, everyone else is taken anyway!

 

Now go and get them, tiger 

 

 

Just one more thing, beware of rodolfo, he wears pink 

Well spoken Cheyenne thank you very much

[RodolfoValentino]

Just one more thing, beware of rodolfo, he wears pink 

 

 

[Spikealot]

A lot of good advice already mentioned here. The only thing i will add is not to be discouraged. Failure and success are equals in the heat of the moment, just different in the benefits they provide.

 

 

If you knew the outcome already, you wouldn't enjoy the surprise.

Thanks WadeB from what everyone is saying i'm not discouraged i'm encouraged and besides Failure is just one step one the Ladder of success i think someone famous said that LoL

[Spikealot]

OMG I can't believe my post became a hot topic

 Thanks everyone. At first I thought I really bombed out and would never be able to show my face again, but now I feel encouraged uplifted and looking forward to hearing more and talking to all of you in-game.

 All of this has been a great help and I'm sure that other people that read this post are feeling the same way.

 To me this is not just a game it's a social experience,

 in reality this is a virtual world. How can that be, there's real people here. In some aspects this place has one upped the world 

I don't have to worry about my socks matching or if my tie is on straight or that i'm eight feet tall and that my real name is Big Foot ( that's Mr.Big Foot to you )    

If you walk down the street any place in the world acting like someone you not. One you're not going to have many friends and two your gonna look weird. LoL

ok ok ok sometime i get a little long winded. talk to later.

[Guest Justyna]

Hey there i'd like to dedicate my first post on here to the cause, as much great advice has been given here already it is not just about you, we woman have to give guys the chance to become that special someone that catches our interest,

it is also a mindset thing or metaphorically speaking "Frog kissing" in being open and appreciating any form of contact if it does cover certain basics.

 

I believe a touch of respectfulness comes without saying and profile reading natural, non ? "Hello, how are you ?" for example might not be the most terrific pick-up line compared to something out of the ordinary and a well worked out profile may outdo a simple one liner but most importantly, it takes two to cultivate a conversation. You may just say it took all your courage to approach her, it shows genuine honesty and is considered quite cute by many of us.

 

Personally, eloquence, authenticity, wit & humor are the splash of color that attract me quite a bit. So bottom line ... like it has been mentioned already, don't let your head dangle, be authentic and come as you are, everyone else is taken anyway!

 

Now go and get them, tiger 

 

 

Just one more thing, beware of rodolfo, he wears pink 

nothing to add

[chris87_au]

OMG I can't believe my post became a hot topic

 Thanks everyone. At first I thought I really bombed out and would never be able to show my face again, but now I feel encouraged uplifted and looking forward to hearing more and talking to all of you in-game.

 All of this has been a great help and I'm sure that other people that read this post are feeling the same way.

 To me this is not just a game it's a social experience,

 in reality this is a virtual world. How can that be, there's real people here. In some aspects this place has one upped the world 

I don't have to worry about my socks matching or if my tie is on straight or that i'm eight feet tall and that my real name is Big Foot ( that's Mr.Big Foot to you )    

If you walk down the street any place in the world acting like someone you not. One you're not going to have many friends and two your gonna look weird. LoL

ok ok ok sometime i get a little long winded. talk to later.

You are most welcome. Don't be afraid to say hi if you see me in game. I'm happy to share my experience in game and irl and help you out if you need a wing man

[Freya]

And I can be a wing kitten :3

[Stewie]

Good initial question spike and not much to add really. Just be yourself don't try to put on a different image to who's actually sat behind the keyboard a girl will pick up on it sooner rather than later. Always always always read profiles. For me that determines whether or not I will try to initiate a conversation or not. There may be a common interest there or a little thing you can pick up on on your initial introduction. Forget pick up lines there cheesy (personal opinion). Keep your conversation going after initial intros if you can only put a few words together each sentence a girl will quickly become bored and wander off. The social aspect to the game is more important than anything else build friendships anything else that comes from it is all good if not you've still made a new friend. Lastly it all depends on what a player is looking for from the game if hers turns out to be complete opposite of yours then it's not going to happen. Persevere, be yourself, keep smiling and enjoy the game. You'll come across some amazing people and strike up some wonderful friendships

[Dalian]

I joined  very recently, and am having a good look around and seeing what is happening.  I aways read profiles first before talking to someone.  I think be yourself is the best advice I have seen here.  this game looks like alot of fun to me