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D/s in the virtual space


Euk

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Hello all, just curious about how my fellow BDSM enthusiasts are playing D/s relationships in the game here. I thought I'd start by talking a little about my own play and sharing a bit of what and how I have found translates well through this very anonymous and impersonal medium,

 

First of all, my personal taste in domination is what would be considered very light sadism, heavy manipulation and medium to heavy humiliation. I have often played with subs through forced nudity, insertion, posing, fisting, random sexual partners, tease and denial. One thing I have found over the years, is that playing online simply having really deeply involved conversations about technique, about the psychology of why and how we play are almost as exciting for both my subs and myself as actual play. This almost always gives us more fuel for future scenes and brings us closer together in terms of how we can both find our fun from the experiences we share.

 

Describing sadism through online play is almost never rewarding for me. Not sure how other domme's feel, but for me, it's a near pointless waste of characters in chat. Unless we find a sub willing to actually hurt themselves based on what we write, (and that is far too dangerous an activity to ever encourage, it's not safe, don't do it) all you ever really do is end up catering to another sadist's fantasy. 

 

Now, describing and executing humiliation and manipulation on the other hand, very doable and very rewarding. That's why I heavily base my online D/s activities around this. Most of the time, I can create scenes that will make this a very rewarding form of play for both me and my submissive. 

 

I am very curious to hear how others play and what you have found works best in this type of environment.

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I won't claim to be big into the BDSM scene, but I have had scenes in 3DX and in other online venues that simulate all three of the areas you mention: physical pain, manipulation, and humiliation. I can definitely see where you're coming from on the physical pain part. But I guess as a long-time roleplayer, I've just gotten accustomed to visualizing most sensations anyways. Ultimately it has the same result on me physically in terms of response, and I've met many who claim to be the same in that regard. An aptly-described scene between participants who visualize each sensation very well can have dramatic results, not just emotionally but physically, without resorting to mimicking the actions IRL. It's one of the reasons I gravitate towards online BDSM moreso than IRL BDSM in fact, because I can push further or be pushed further online than I'm willing to be pushed IRL. I have limits I have no choice but to set for myself, but here they don't apply.

 

All that said, the visualizations do not work well, especially around pain, for people who have never experienced those sorts of things IRL. Imagination works so much better when there's a foundation of something already known and understood. So for someone new to it, certainly, I'd say the problem with the sadism you describe is very real. Thankfully I haven't run into that very often.

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You are touching a fascinating topic, Euk!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.  <3

Being a BDSM enthusiast for years, I've explored a lot of what this wonderful lifestyle has to offer.
Real life or online communities, when it comes to sexual gratification, it's all about enticing and stimulating the greatest sexual organ of them all. Which is why I agree with you, I personally think humiliation and manipulation is what works best in a virtual world. 

I see humiliation as an emotion, a mental state,  often easily triggered by mental "mistreatment" such as verbal abuse and scenes that is specifically tailored to lower the submissive's self-worth temporarily, often but not always matched with sexual stimulation. To me manipulation is slightly different, I see it more as a powerful tool, often aimed at changing the submissive's interpretation and understanding of their environment and then take advantage of it to bring forth emotions such as humility. Both humiliation and manipulation entwines heavily with our psyche, in fact i would go so far to say that it is impossible to achieve either without stimulating the mind. 

Sadism is something completely different though, since it is very physically oriented. As Baishun so beautifully wrote, sadism can be very difficult to visualize if the "subject" is unable to relate to what it feels like to, for example being hit by a flogger and the sweet emotions surfacing in the aftermath. We all carry an idea and an image of what it might feel like, and for some it might be enough to make their blood surge and inner core to roil. But in the end it is the mind that works as the pathway to the very peek of that blissful state of heavenly release, in this fantastic virtual world we are all a part of.  






 

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Well I have been playing both roles here, and as previously stated, if you have a great imagination only that it is your limitation. I have been involved in BDSM activities irl for a long time, so for me it is easy to base it all on that.

 However, humiliation is the easiest way virtually to dominate someone. That is at least what I had done to me, and what I did to others. 

 

Summary, I have no problem visualizing what is happening, but can understand that others may have that problem.

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I find myself involved in a limited aspect of BDSM, predominately through humiliation and public nudity. I am often publically naked here, and have numerous friends who help engage me in this, by RP'ing ripping my dress off in the middle of Night Club. Yes, as much as it's become almost commonplace for me now, I still feel an incredible thrill, even when it's really only a pixilated version of myself. I find being "forced" to do certain things is immensely erotic, as if I'm being made to do things I'd like to do, if I wasn't embarrassed or afraid to do them on my own. The pain aspect is actually a turn off, excepting of course, the obvious, being spanked hard, or the pain from a large object being thrust into me, but hitting, cutting, piercing, those things are beyond my limits, RP and IRL.

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I find myself involved in a limited aspect of BDSM, predominately through humiliation and public nudity. I am often publically naked here, and have numerous friends who help engage me in this, by RP'ing ripping my dress off in the middle of Night Club. Yes, as much as it's become almost commonplace for me now, I still feel an incredible thrill, even when it's really only a pixilated version of myself. I find being "forced" to do certain things is immensely erotic, as if I'm being made to do things I'd like to do, if I wasn't embarrassed or afraid to do them on my own. The pain aspect is actually a turn off, excepting of course, the obvious, being spanked hard, or the pain from a large object being thrust into me, but hitting, cutting, piercing, those things are beyond my limits, RP and IRL.

 

This is exactly what I have found as well. 

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3D can't give me the feel of the belt slapping across my back, butt and upper legs. The lightning shock of the pain, the rush of life that the pain gives me as runs through my body. Every nerve in my body is now alive and awake. Feeling like your being freed as tears pour out of your eyes. So.... to me this will never be more then a game, that tease real life...

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oh lols, u already start with hot suff.. well, i've been in bdsm stuff for a while, mostly as sub, dom if of right mood...and yes, it's clear that playing in 3dx will never be as real, u'll never feel pain or stuff, but u'll surely get horny if the rp is good and there is a good feeling between dom and sub; i think that in here is more psychological than phisical, the words used, the behavoir, the desire to serve someone..everything has its part; humiliation, public, disgrace, get whored or wahtever else..it's all part of the game.

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  • 2 months later...

Finding the right partner to be your sub, I've found, is the most important feature in regards to whether or not being a Domme can be enjoyable. Thankfully I've found quite a few, so I haven't really had many issues in terms of enjoyment. c:

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  • 10 months later...

While I enjoy the ministration of a good sub, I find it rings a bit hollow without earning it. Power exchange is after all about giving/taking control.

 

I always say, when you see my name and your heart jumps or when you think of our play and your mouth goes dry, then call me Miss.

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